Tupac Chopra (Self-Help Guru)Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2004-11-16 16:06:37 EST
Rating: 1.83 on 27 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
From the scintillating author of such self-help classics as "Look, Bitch, You Needs to Lose Some Weight" and "You Needs to Manage Yo Anger, Beyotch!" comes the new instant classic "Kiss My Chopra, Oprah"
The following is a sample of the new book by this highly praised best selling self-help author:
Chapter 1: Only God Can Judge Me, Bitch
Look, check it... It makes a brutha sad to see deez G's who thinks dat da bling is everything. A brutha cannot live by bling alone nigga, ya dig? Ya'll needs to reexamine yo lives if ya think that material posessions will leads to happiness.
Ain't not one of the 10,000 things of this world that be helpin' a G when his time comes to be judged... and I ain't talkin' about when yo baby's momma take you to court about the last 5 years of child support you smoked up neither. I'm talkin' about the big judgement when each and every little gangsta-ass nigga must stand before the almighty and testify to his earfly deeds.
Ya'll gots ta self-actualize, g! Know what I'm sayin'? Gots ta realize that da blingin' and da bangin' only leads to a sorry-ass nigga in tha end, ya feel me? It ain't about deez hos. Fuck dem hos! Ya gots ta change yoself from the inside... know what I'm sayin'?
Can't take none of that shit wit chu when you leaves this earf. You hearin' what I'm sayin'? It's all dis bullshit dat be gettin' in tha way of what a real no-limit soldier s'pose ta do wit his life, feel me?
The gates of tha promised land ain't wide enough for tha Bentley or tha Caddy. You got's ta drop dat shit, yo! Tha MAN gonna tax dat ass when you die, and it ain't gonna be no thugz mansion...so lose tha attitude and stay real.
P.S. Stay in school, nigga.