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Tupac Chopra (Self-Help Guru)

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2004-11-16 16:06:37 EST
Rating: 1.83 on 27 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

From the scintillating author of such self-help classics as "Look, Bitch, You Needs to Lose Some Weight" and "You Needs to Manage Yo Anger, Beyotch!" comes the new instant classic "Kiss My Chopra, Oprah"

The following is a sample of the new book by this highly praised best selling self-help author:

Chapter 1: Only God Can Judge Me, Bitch

Look, check it... It makes a brutha sad to see deez G's who thinks dat da bling is everything. A brutha cannot live by bling alone nigga, ya dig? Ya'll needs to reexamine yo lives if ya think that material posessions will leads to happiness.

Ain't not one of the 10,000 things of this world that be helpin' a G when his time comes to be judged... and I ain't talkin' about when yo baby's momma take you to court about the last 5 years of child support you smoked up neither. I'm talkin' about the big judgement when each and every little gangsta-ass nigga must stand before the almighty and testify to his earfly deeds.

Ya'll gots ta self-actualize, g! Know what I'm sayin'? Gots ta realize that da blingin' and da bangin' only leads to a sorry-ass nigga in tha end, ya feel me? It ain't about deez hos. Fuck dem hos! Ya gots ta change yoself from the inside... know what I'm sayin'?

Can't take none of that shit wit chu when you leaves this earf. You hearin' what I'm sayin'? It's all dis bullshit dat be gettin' in tha way of what a real no-limit soldier s'pose ta do wit his life, feel me?

The gates of tha promised land ain't wide enough for tha Bentley or tha Caddy. You got's ta drop dat shit, yo! Tha MAN gonna tax dat ass when you die, and it ain't gonna be no thugz mansion...so lose tha attitude and stay real.

P.S. Stay in school, nigga.

Tupac Chopra.jpg
Tupac Chopra.jpg

Review This Item




Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-08-14 05:40:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Teephphah at 2005-09-13 14:40:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Absolutely beautiful.

Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron at 2004-11-17 07:26:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish at 2004-11-17 07:14:56 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2004-11-16 23:18:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

tnemmoC oN

Submitted by snagglepuss at 2004-11-16 23:16:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sparkle_pink at 2004-11-16 23:06:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

'Kiss my Chopra, Oprah'

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2004-11-16 21:51:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have heard of him. In a movie (I can't remember) and in an Ig Nobel prize.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2004-11-16 21:48:35 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Everyone I have spoken to has no idea who Deepak Chopra is...strange. What? Is it that everyone is sane??? Do you waste your money on psychiatrists instead??? Or do you simply not go for self-help??? PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME! What's that? Help yourself you say? Huh, thanks, I never thought of that...

Submitted by Snark at 2004-11-16 19:50:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The book title alone is worth a +2

The rest was just fucking hilarious.

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2004-11-16 17:27:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-11-16 16:19:25 (#)
Ranking: 2

...just because it's listed as romance.

I agree.

Submitted by Drone_of_Industry at 2004-11-16 17:22:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

AMEN! You are the Mark Twain of Ebonics!

Submitted by Katastrofadark at 2004-11-16 17:15:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

haha I have officially been pimped

Submitted by Stin at 2004-11-16 17:00:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fantastic! Ever since I read "Look, Bitch, You Needs to Lose Some Weight", I've been waiting for this book.

Who's shipping it to the UK for me?

Submitted by kai070169 at 2004-11-16 16:54:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by mxc_jwebber at 2004-11-16 16:39:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I sooo wanted to give this a -2 DIE until I saw the book cover. I'd buy 10 copies just to have books that say "You Needs To Lose Some Weight, Bitch!" on them. The ebonics were good too.

Submitted by OneCheapGeek at 2004-11-16 16:35:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fo shizzle, nizzle.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2004-11-16 16:34:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Thanks G's. I appreciates tha support. Werd!

Submitted by Davros at 2004-11-16 16:32:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Funny Shit.


Submitted by Soley_Trinity at 2004-11-16 16:30:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed, I cried... so much so that I think I've cracked a couple of ribs.

Right then, I'm off to listen to your cover of Nirvana's Lounge Act.

Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin at 2004-11-16 16:30:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

He's helped get me over my pimpin slump and helped me get back into a healthy regimen of 8 40 oz. Budweisers every day. Thank you Tupac Chopra.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2004-11-16 16:25:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by zakalwe at 2004-11-16 16:24:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Loren at 2004-11-16 16:22:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

So beautifully written it actually brought tears to my eyes.

Bravo! Bravo!

Submitted by youarsoghey at 2004-11-16 16:20:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fucking hilarious.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2004-11-16 16:19:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

...just because it's listed as romance.

Oh, yeah, and it's awesome, too.

Submitted by IamNotTheWorldTradeCenter at 2004-11-16 16:16:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Suberb. Honestly, I would definitely say this is Dave Chapelle Show worthy.

Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and
love our family's experienced ... well, not today. You saw what
happened. Oh, Lord, be honest. Are we the most pathetic family in
the universe, or what?

-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving