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Shlongy is leaving...w/ Fake Camwhore

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 14:22:13 EST
Rating: -0.19 on 67 ratings (67 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

For Jacksonville, tonight, on our way to Colorado to ski for the next week.

Please leave your well wishes here. You can reach me at www.GrandTimberLodge.com if you need me to kick someone's ass or something.

I would appreciate it if someone would take charge and use some of my old ratings & reviews on any posts that deserve a Shlongy review during the next week or so.

Also, could someone please stop at the kennel and keep my doggies company a couple times during the week? We dropped them off today and that always sucks.

I wish I could say I'll miss Uber but the truth is, my great looking, firm ass could use a break from the front of the computer screen.

Hike. Over and out.


Review This Item




Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2005-06-27 22:18:32 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by frap at 2005-04-14 18:08:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

leave earth

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-15 18:30:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Just the night before the Super Bowl...some Fox Sports party...then we flew out at 8:30am to Colorado.

Jacksonville was all gussied up for their big two weeks in the spotlight...and looked great.

Submitted by QueenAshlee at 2005-02-15 18:12:22 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I've been working a lot. My brain is fried. Came down for the Superbowl, I assume?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-15 10:32:19 EST (#)
Rating: 0

That's strange- I've never once lied in this forum.

Because I don't have to.

You may have to re-check your sources, dipshit.

Submitted by Adamdidit2u at 2005-02-15 10:23:20 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Oh yea, you could REALLY kick my ass.



Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-02-15 10:23:11 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-02-15 10:22:58 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you look shifty, kinda like the kid who would steal his sisters knickers.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-15 10:17:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Ashlee- I'm already BACK...isn't that obvious?

Submitted by QueenAshlee at 2005-02-15 10:01:42 EST (#)
Rating: 0

What side of town are you staying on?

Submitted by mrwolf at 2005-02-15 09:46:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 20:11:51 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm a Sharks fan.
So you, and that faggot Bertuzzi can go fuck your collective selves.

Submitted by CanucksFan at 2005-02-14 20:08:11 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 20:06:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Buahahahahahahaaaa....That's rich, Charlie Brown (Please, research the analogy there, 'Flato.)

Submitted by Dustbrother at 2005-02-14 20:04:58 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-02-14 19:59:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

my god dwarf man goober, show some decorum.

so how tall are you shlong? 5'8" / 5'9" ?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 15:15:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'll bet you do.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 14:55:27 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Yes. I know how hard it is to talk with a mouth full.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 14:36:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It's usually kind of muffled though...hard to understand sometimes when their mouth is full.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 14:25:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'll bet you do.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 13:55:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Thank you. I hear that a lot.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 13:54:48 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You are a babe by the way. ;)

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 13:21:06 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Too late!

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 13:08:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You'll just have to spank it out once to every set.

Get some astroglide!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 12:50:55 EST (#)
Rating: 0

How will I know which ones to spank to?

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 12:04:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have two pictures up there...You know I can't tell.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 11:56:56 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I like everything about you.

And I can't throw enough kudos around to the Uber-broads who had the sack(?) to post their globes for V-Day. I think it's outstanding, and I'm not some 16 year old who's only seen titties in daddy's Playboy.

It's very cool.

Now, which ones are yours?

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-14 11:45:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I do! Did you like my "rack"?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-14 11:34:09 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm back. Who wants to lick my pole?

Submitted by Vomit at 2005-02-07 16:22:43 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-02-07 16:07:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

He's a babe. Ummm older menz.

Submitted by Teephphah at 2005-02-07 11:55:00 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Hey, if that's you, you look kind of like the older, wiser mentor bartender from that shitty movie Cocktail. Elizabeth Shue is hot though.

I'm pretty sure you kill yourself at the end though, after marrying a rich chick.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-02-07 09:36:39 EST (#)
Rating: -2

What the ghey?

Submitted by WhatTheHell at 2005-02-07 09:12:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You've GOT to be kidding me?

This scrawny old homo is Shlongy?
What is he, like 4 foot 3 or something ?

MY FUCKING GOD.... some things shouldn't be posted.


Submitted by Merlina at 2005-02-07 03:27:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

have fun...speak when you get back

Submitted by Chinaski at 2005-02-06 17:11:43 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by bart at 2005-02-05 20:47:39 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Snark at 2005-02-05 20:34:59 EST (#)
Rating: -1


Submitted by urbaneruralite at 2005-02-05 20:33:39 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2005-02-05 18:58:55 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Go to hell you ancient drooling idiot.

sorry incredibly pissy at the moment

had to take it out on someone.

Submitted by munkeypants at 2005-02-05 18:25:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

if that is you then you look like a NY/Boston radio Dj named Opie.

which I think is cute because you call everyone Opie.

<sips her congac>

Happy traveling! cheers!

umm.. you're coming back... right?

Submitted by MyNameIsTim at 2005-02-05 18:20:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

new photoshop competition.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara at 2005-02-05 17:45:14 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Don't forget to take your Uberette patch until you return.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 17:40:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I don't think I was hiding anything...I think I was about to do a "Kent Dorfman ArmPit Stink Test", before making the move on some broads in the bleachers.

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2005-02-05 17:33:17 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You hiding something under your right armpit? Seriously, I'm starting to freak the fuck out.....

Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious at 2005-02-05 17:19:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Aw shit shlongy whos post will I masturbate to now?
I can't last that long!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:48:08 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Hey, greening...I'm not happy that it's colder than shit there. I'm a spring skier...I don't even like to leave the fucking house if it gets under 40 degrees.

If it's too fucking cold, I'll just sit inside by the fire and drink 20 hours a day.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:46:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I wondering that, too.

As we speak, bart and I are in midst of "top secret" negotiations and trying to come up with a solution to this potentially disasterous turn of events on UberSite.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN at 2005-02-05 15:43:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

that's too bad man, what will ubersite do until you make your return?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:36:17 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I think I may have hit the Top 10 in under 6 months.
I've been busy.

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2005-02-05 15:35:56 EST (#)
Rating: -2


That's an IS.

As in it IS cold now.

I said WAS.

As in it WAS warm all week.

And it was NOT snowing most of the week.

Great skippy fine wonderful it's 32 as a high today.

It was 45 yesterday at Vail and Breck.

Cold fronts tend to cool things down quick.


Submitted by Herpes at 2005-02-05 15:32:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Holy fuck! I just realized how many reviews you've written.

Wether you like it or not, you are a die-hard Überlover.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2005-02-05 15:23:33 EST (#)
Rating: 0

back to jail is it?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:20:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

jgreening- apparently, you are too much of a lardass to leave the house much. Because the high tempersature forecast for Breckenridge the next 10 days in 32...TODAY.

Right Now for
Breckenridge, CO
Save this Location On The Spot Weather
Choose LocationSchoolsGolf CoursesIntersectionsLocal ParksAirportsEvent VenuesSki AreasNew Search

Partly Cloudy 26°F
Feels Like
Updated Feb 5 01:00 p.m. MT
UV Index: 3 Moderate
Wind: From NW at 12 mph
Humidity: 29%
Pressure: 29.91 in.
Dew Point: 3°F
Visibility: 9.0 miles

Scroll down to see Doppler radar

Fucking retard.
It ALWAYS feels warm when you're carrying an extra 100-200lbs., I'd imagine.

I'll be at your airport at 2pm if you'd like to come lick my boots.

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2005-02-05 15:14:59 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Yeah, let's go skiing in Colorado when it's 65 degrees in Denver.

DId I mention the mountains have gotten less than 2 feet this week?

And have had an average high of around 50?

Yeah, conditions are GREAT.

I should know, I live here.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2005-02-05 15:13:34 EST (#)
Rating: -2

and since you -2 pretty every man's camwhore, I suppose we should return the favor you wimpy looking lying faggot.

There, it is done.

Submitted by hungovermondays at 2005-02-05 15:05:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

thanks for the update tool

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:05:33 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Looks can be deceiving, shitforbrains.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2005-02-05 15:04:32 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-05 14:40:39 (#)
Ranking: 0

Good bet.

Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-05 14:39:18 (#)
Ranking: 0

I bet it's his real picture for once.

He does look like a little shit.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 15:01:09 EST (#)
Rating: 0

That hasn't happened yet...but a Shlongy can dream...right?

Submitted by shitfuck at 2005-02-05 14:53:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hahaha, if that's really you then I wonder if you suffer from the midnight suburbia nightmare.

You know--like when you were a rockstar and you're saying to everyone 'hey, I'm gonna fucking live fast and die hard and young and I'll never cut my lawn or fuck my wife with the lights off.'

And then...

The mail man comes around one day and you walk in on him inspecting your wife's paper cut between her legs and shit goes to the hizzay. Jizzay. Splizzay. Wizzay.

So you pull out a gun and just start offing everyting in sight before finding that crack pipe you forgot to throw away and what do you know it's full of rock so you get high and when you come down you're getting raped in the ass by a bunch of convicts.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 14:40:39 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Good bet.

Submitted by sebcharrot at 2005-02-05 14:39:18 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I bet it's his real picture for once.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay at 2005-02-05 14:32:44 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Another fake camwhore? Great!

Submitted by shitfuck at 2005-02-05 14:27:47 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Hahaha a bald cap...

Submitted by Hadooken at 2005-02-05 14:26:20 EST (#)
Rating: 0

have a safe trip or something.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-02-05 14:23:46 EST (#)
Rating: 0

If anyone masturbates to my picture, I would expect the usual $5.95 service charge to be deposited into my PayPal account.

Homer: Marge, it's 3 a.m. and I worked all day!

Marge: It's 9:30 p.m. and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer
in Maggie's kiddie pool.

Another Simpsons Clip Show