login / register
Be more entertaining. Talk about your favorite farm animal.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Alright, Dammit- Shlongy is in for the Uber Directory

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-03 21:36:29 EDT
Rating: -0.66 on 66 ratings (67 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

After seeing everyone's latest camwhores, there's no reason for me to be afraid anymore. I KNOW I'm better looking than 99.7% of the latest "entries"...

So, without further ado, I bring you...well....uhhhhh, me.


Review This Item




Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-08-06 07:56:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I remember this heat.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2015-08-06 04:32:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

That ain't Shlongy! Shlongy'd have a dildo set to "puree" shoved in every orifice and a horse cock lodged in the back of his throat! Show me REAL SHLONGY!


Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-05 18:05:50 EDT (#)

you've never been funny jonny. you pedophile

Submitted by JonnyX at 2015-08-05 16:51:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

true dat below

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-04-17 12:33:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy used to be quite funny.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-05-05 11:53:24 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I'll let the guy whose picture that really is know how you feel! THANKS!

Submitted by Aussie_em at 2008-05-05 11:46:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

u look like a retarted german zach braff

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-05-05 11:20:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Method at 2008-05-05 11:10:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hey, that was uncalled for!

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-05-05 11:09:01 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fag below, fag above.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-05-05 10:48:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was a funny post.

Submitted by jeveuxgagner at 2005-09-13 00:39:55 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-09-12 16:21:24 (#)
Ranking: -2

Fuck you and the +1.24.

I got a -.6 for the SAME GODDAMN post.


Submitted by Danzxc at 2005-07-28 23:55:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You still suck dick -2 bitch

Submitted by NumLock at 2005-07-01 12:47:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-07-01 11:53:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Ummmmmm, that's NOT a picture of me, Tardo.

It's a picture of another Uberite, you fucking dipshit.

Submitted by jimthefiend at 2005-06-30 21:31:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Youre a fucking geek. -2
Scrawny twat. -2
Cockgobbling nancy boy. -2
Limp wristed dress wearing pansy. -2
You DO look like you slurp a mean cock. +6

= -2 Fag.

Oh the fucking horror.

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2005-06-27 22:08:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by lordofthedance at 2005-04-14 22:05:07 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I can't be bothered -2ing every single one of your posts. I just thought I'd let you know how much you mean to me.

Submitted by frap at 2005-04-14 17:57:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You look like you eat dicks

now I know why you can't rip

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2005-04-06 14:39:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-04-04 15:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 2

It's funny because it's not him.

Get the joke people, Damn.

Submitted by BedOfHog at 2005-04-06 14:27:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

9:30? I thought cattle ranches closed at dusk.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-05 10:19:33 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You can't fool jeannee, no sir eee, Bob.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2005-04-05 09:46:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

That's not you. That's Carol Richards' dad.

Submitted by d_prime at 2005-04-04 22:45:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious at 2005-04-04 22:40:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy you sure are generating quite a bit of hatred. I'm just glad I didn't do a camwhore post.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 21:07:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Mrs. Shlongy is working until 9:30pm...I've already eaten and walked the dogs...and I'm playing poker online, waiting for the Hoops game on the telly.

Submitted by CanucksFan at 2005-04-04 21:06:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Damn you sure hover around...are you retired?
Link them? searching through your old posts is not really worth my time but I'll check again

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 21:02:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

There's 5 of me you little fag, including two from the last 6 months...whattya need, some new jerkoff material?

Have your mommy wipe your nose, dipshit.

Submitted by CanucksFan at 2005-04-04 20:59:54 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

How about posting an actual picture of yourself that wasn't from 1981..half your posts are 'camwhores' but none of them are actually you..

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 19:36:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You should be. I stole the idea from you.

Submitted by darko at 2005-04-04 19:00:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Mixed feelings about this post, but I think I'm honored...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:58:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Correction- ONE pussy...unless you're going to be joining it.

"pwnership"....WHAT A FUCKING DORK!!! BAUAHAhhahahahahahahahaaaa

Submitted by BedOfHog at 2005-04-04 18:51:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

This is by far one of the better arguments between 2 pussies.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:40:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -1


What a fucking dork! BUAAHhhaahhaahahahahahhhHhahahahhahahhhhaaHAHhhahahaH

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:40:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Wait a second...did fatass just say "certificate of pwnership"?

Wait...let me check.....YESSSS!

He DID say that!

What a fag!

"hey man, so, what, are you like , ummmm, like 19 or something dude? You rock...but you're pretty fat for 19..."

Go fuck yourself, Sparky. You're in over your head.

PS. That smeggma thing has the entire room in stitches. You think of that yourself, Carrot Top?

Submitted by G-prime at 2005-04-04 18:35:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by kai070169 at 2005-04-04 18:34:46 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Mr. Smegma,

I remember when you first showed up here "Nolan", YOU are the one who turned into a dick, not me. Quit your crying, bitch, or are you you saying you've had enough? I've had your certificate of pwnership in my filing cabinet for some time now - I'll mail it to ya if you quit being a fucking goof for a change. I liked you before the days of Smeggy.

Keith Richrds keeps calling my house asking for your number, something about a colostomy bag and a crack pipe? I donno, fuck ya both.

How's your diet? Has your lard ass wife joined you yet?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:28:18 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Oh, and Einstein...my name isn't Nolan- that's a faux e-mail address, specially made for this room. Perhaps you've heard of Owen Nolan...You're a canuck, right?

Anyways, I'm a Sharks fan, and that asshole went and got himself treded to Toronto.

THAT'S where Nolan comes from, shitforbrains.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:26:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh, and you have obviously seem many of my posts because you used to give me plenty of +2's, you fat fucking liar, so I don't know what has crawled up your massive anal cavity lately...although, how anything else managed to squeeze its way up there with your head already taking up residency there is beyond my comprehension.

Maybe you have me confused with someone else and you're not bright enough to figure out your mistake.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:24:02 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Oh yeah, Kai. I'm real jealous of all the "pussy" you get. We ALL are.

Buahahahahahahahahahahahaaa....now wipe the crumbs off your chins.

Submitted by kai070169 at 2005-04-04 18:19:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

If by "twinkies" you mean "pussy" and by "masturbated to" you meant "laughed at", you may be right. I usually avoid your posts, never seen any of your other fake ass camwhores. I just imagine what a fat old unemployed loser named Nolan looks like and I'm pretty sure I have the picture already.

Have another twinkie for me, lard ass. And I mean TWINKIE.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 18:02:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Well, at least Lechuga has brains.

Someone tell Kai, that if he can stop stuffing his face with twinkies for at least two minutes, there's at minimum, 5 Shlongy camwhores - real ones- on this site already.

The women have already masturbated to my pictures on numerous occasions.

Submitted by kai070169 at 2005-04-04 17:31:52 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Whazzamatter, afraid to post your fat ugly assface, smeggy?? If I use teh wide angle lens, I can probably get you all in the frame from up here in Canada...

Oops, nope. You're too fat - better use a sattelite..

Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious at 2005-04-04 17:20:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You look familiar...

Submitted by fluff at 2005-04-04 17:08:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Your ranking on another post. you deserve it.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2005-04-04 15:48:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Nice face....Now get over here so I can sit on it.

Submitted by Lechuga at 2005-04-04 15:25:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's funny because it's not him.

Get the joke people, Damn.

Submitted by BedOfHog at 2005-04-04 09:36:52 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You suck. At life.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-04 08:26:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Don't YOU start now, faggot.

Submitted by WhatTheHell at 2005-04-04 08:25:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-04 06:29:14 (#)
Ranking: -2

a fucking queer-ass post even by gay-ass shlongy's elephant-dick-sucking standards.


Submitted by Burn at 2005-04-04 08:15:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Chinaski at 2005-04-04 06:29:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

a fucking queer-ass post even by gay-ass shlongy's elephant-dick-sucking standards.

Submitted by PrescriptionX at 2005-04-04 01:50:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

this pic was posted earlier today...


and now you're twice as ugly

Submitted by pen_name at 2005-04-03 23:58:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

here's a list of those who reviewed Freakmagnet's post after cindy's "oh dear" comment.


of course it needn't be them. it just as likely could have been just some passerby. unfortunately, that makes for shitty drama. like a good american, i like conspiracies with more identifiable hatchet persons.

that said, i think it's c1ndy herself. it's always the quiet ones.

Submitted by pen_name at 2005-04-03 23:47:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


c1ndy said "oh dear" in one of freakmagnet's fucked up camwhores...is that a hint...lol!!!

Submitted by carolrichards at 2005-04-03 22:36:25 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Oh dear

Submitted by carolrichards at 2005-04-03 22:36:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Sassmasterr at 2005-04-03 22:34:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

<stares longingly>


Submitted by hungovermondays at 2005-04-03 22:31:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I miss the gong show

Submitted by NocternalDragon at 2005-04-03 22:22:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-03 21:47:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

fuckface- Don't forget to set your alarm clock to remind yourself when you want me to beat your ass like a rag doll, Zitboy.

Submitted by professorfuckface at 2005-04-03 21:45:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Shlongy is a stupid homo who took upskirt photos of his dying mother so he would have something to remember her by

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-03 21:42:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Irony is almost always funny.

Submitted by Tom at 2005-04-03 21:40:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

So, you're saying that Hidden is a dick? Hokay.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara at 2005-04-03 21:39:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by EbolaMay at 2005-04-03 21:38:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You've got a big schnoze, Shlongy.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-04-03 21:36:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OK, I'll admit. I'm a hottie.



Hey! Let's do that 2,000-pound man thing. I'll be that Carl Reiner guy,
and you be what's-his-face.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma