Mensa Approved IQ Test #2 (Retard Edition)Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-04-07 17:02:39 EDT
Rating: 1.66 on 17 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
This is a continuation of this test: http://www.ubersite.com/m/47360
1. Which of the following does not belong?
E. An unarmed black man in the town of Killdarkie, Arkansas
2. Rearrange the following letters to construct a phrase meaning, “please, sir, if you would be so kind as depart my presence and engage in auto-erotic stimulation, I would be grateful.”
Og Uckf OurselfY
A. Go fuck yourself
B. Let’s be friends
C. Here, just take the fucking thing, I’ve already seen it anyway!
D. Let’s be pen pals
E. Let’s make love
3. What’s the next number in the following sequence?
C. Colonel Pappersnapper
D. Sexual Chocolate
E. None, you idiot, that’s the fucking letter ‘O’
4. Which of the following does not belong?
5. Which of the following words best completes the sentence: “The bag of weed that I purchased from that black man was very __________.”
6. You find yourself trapped in a well with an angry platypus. Which of the following items would be most useful in this situation:
A. A collection of platypus porn and a TV and VCR
B. An ancient Aboriginal Voodoo charm that is supposed to lull platypussies to sleep
C. A severed penis and a rhinestone-encrusted turban
D. A bundle of industrial rebar
E. A ladder
7. You purchase an illegal bootleg of the Paris Hilton sex DVD on ebay for $15. You live in the same state as the seller, so he tries to charge you 8% sales tax on the item, to which you reply, “fuck you, you crooked bastard! I’m not paying taxes on an illegal item,” to which the seller replies, “oh yea? Well if you don’t pay the tax, then I won’t ship it,” to which you respond in turn, “well, then, I’ll just leave negative feedback on your account”, to which he responds, “Og uckf ourselfy,” in response to which you inquire, “what the fuck does that mean???” to which the seller replies, “I don’t know, I saw it on an IQ test somewhere,” at which point you ask, “yes, but what does it mean?” to which the seller replies, “uhhhh……C?” Paris Hilton is hot.
C. All of the above
8. A train leaves a station in Newark at 8:00am and heads toward the town of Newcastle, which is 1500 miles away, traveling 70 kilometers per hour. Another train leaves the station at Oldcastle at 10:00am and heads toward Newark traveling 110 kilometers per hour. Provided that each train weighs 90,000 tons, what will be the force of impact in PSI when the trains finally collide because they were traveling on the same set of tracks?
Ok, that's too hard... Instead, where would you rather be living in the event of a flood?
9. Bart Cilfone is to übersite.com as ___________________
A. advertisements are to monkeys
B. journalists are to historic world events
C. flippers are to walruses
D. giants are to beanstalks
E. cow farts are to ozone depletion
10. Place the appropriate item in the Z position to balance the bar.
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