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Standing on the Shoulders of Neandertals

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-19 16:55:28 EDT
Rating: 1.8 on 42 ratings (42 reviews) (Review this item) (V)



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Submitted by indoninja at 2006-08-26 10:19:52 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Lmarie22000 at 2005-12-08 22:37:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by wardy at 2005-12-08 22:06:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-19 18:51:49 (#)
Ranking: 2

<stands applauds> hahahaha good stuff ETS.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-29 10:22:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yea, sorry about that Apollo. That was yesterday. God was in traction, things were stressful at work, and I was running low on Midol.

Forgive me?
















*mutters under breath*
"Limey toolbag."

Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-09-29 09:28:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think it's interesting how we can always leave it to the British to dismiss the notion of God using their particularly cunning skill and wit, which, by the way, is SOOOOOOO special. There is, indeed, none like them in all the world, they're so special. What is it about your culture that has made it so easy to be dumb shits and think you're being clever? (I'm talking to Apollo and Zak more than you Berty.) """


what the fuck did i do to you?

Submitted by FartSmeller at 2005-09-28 10:12:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is probably the perfect post. B@W?

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-21 00:08:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If you don't like it, you shouldn't +2 it.

Submitted by Chinaski at 2005-09-20 21:24:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Mandatory dick-sucking +2 for sub-par piece of work which is already highly rated.

Er, goode poste.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-20 19:05:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HAHAHAHAHA! Touche, Caul.

Submitted by SkinnyKenny at 2005-09-20 18:15:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Pilfered photos from the Uberdirectory to make this, did you?

Submitted by alex.lifeson at 2005-09-20 18:09:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hahahahahahhahaahahah

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2005-09-20 16:18:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Would 'racism' become less of an issue if we had another recognised species of hominid wandering the globe?"""

Probably not. Hating everybody seems to be en vogue lately.

For that matter, how do we define 'species' and 'race' anyway???"""

A recent study by genetists(sp?), which I can't find, discovered that "race" was a myth. However, the Neandertal had distinct physiological differences. Which leads us to:

Is there really a difference?"""

Height, jaw line (only challenged by Eric Rice) and dentition, stronger physical completion, shorter life expectancy and I suspect...bigger cocks.

Could we breed with a Neandertal?"""

I watched a three episode documentary on "Découverte". One of the theory was that it was assimilated through cross-breeding by the much more populous Cro Magnon from the South. Another theory was that they were anhilated by them. It would've been the first and last time in history that Africans kicked the Europeans asses.

Would we want to?"""

I can name you a few Uber users who would.

Would Neandertals be sexy?"""

Unlikely. But they would make awesome participants to Extreme Makeovers and shit like that.

Could they run for president?"""

They'd be too evolved to replace that one.

Would we vote for them?"""

That all depens on the media.

Or would we just enslave and murder them?"""

That'd be great. But then they would multitiply, eventually become our equals and impose their culture -- like it did with niggers. Can you imagine Neandertal Hip Hop? Instead of "Aaah aaah yeah! Aaaah aaah! Yeah! Yo! Yeah! Aaaah aah!" we'd have to deal with "Ooooh oooh! Nur! Yar! Nur! Oooh ooh!" As you can see, the two versions are lightyears apart.

Submitted by d_prime at 2005-09-20 14:39:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You said you wanted to join. If your interest remains, you have approximately 9 hours and 15 minutes to do so.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/75435

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-20 12:15:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-09-20 11:33:30 (#)
Ranking: 2

The Neandertal were french, geographically speaking. Does that make me cool?

---------------------

You know you must be French if in order to climb the scale of 'coolness' you have proclaim your Neandertal heritage. :P

Seriously though, I think we chould clone Neandertals, and maybe wooly mammoths and sabre-tooth tigers and set them loose in a giant wildlife refuge somewhere. Then we could charge admission and make millions.

On another note...I wonder what it would be like to converse with a Neandertal. Would 'racism' become less of an issue if we had another recognised species of hominid wandering the globe? For that matter, how do we define 'species' and 'race' anyway??? Is there really a difference? Could we breed with a Neandertal? Would we want to? Would Neandertals be sexy? Could they run for president? Would we vote for them? Or would we just enslave and murder them?

Submitted by pen_name at 2005-09-20 11:43:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2005-09-20 11:33:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The Neandertal were french, geographically speaking. Does that make me cool?

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-20 09:19:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-09-20 00:38:59 (#)
Ranking: 2

Predator Info: Homo erectus

---------------
Heheheh...that's scary. (I feel like such a child for laughing at that. :D)
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Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-20 07:31:26 (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't believe BartBart took credit for NeanderBart's idea.

----------------
OMG! What if we ALL have a Neanderself??? And what if they're all homo erectus???

Submitted by indoninja at 2005-09-20 07:31:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I can't believe BartBart took credit for NeanderBart's idea.

Submitted by Merlina at 2005-09-20 06:59:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Berty at 2005-09-20 06:49:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by missedthepoint at 2005-09-20 06:24:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

this my friend,
was pretty fuckin' funny.

Ugh.

Submitted by jack11058 at 2005-09-20 06:11:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

pretty damn good

Submitted by Soley_Trinity at 2005-09-20 05:17:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ozzy at 2005-09-20 05:15:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is some good shit right here.

Submitted by DeathJester at 2005-09-20 04:50:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sorry, but I just can't accept that I am inferior to a race that didn't wipe its own bum.

Submitted by ParlorTrick at 2005-09-20 00:38:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Predator Info: Homo erectus

Submitted by Stin at 2005-09-20 00:35:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin at 2005-09-19 22:27:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

the ugh site photoshop made me chuckle.

Submitted by kaos-king at 2005-09-19 22:10:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's all so true!!!

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2005-09-19 20:26:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This reminds me of a grown-up version of a Sesame Street sketch I saw as a kid. Some Muppet Cavemen are sitting around bored, but every idea they have for fun is something that doesn't exist yet.

"Ooh! Let's watch T.V.!"
"We can't, T.V. hasn't been invented yet!"
"Awww."

Submitted by momanlad at 2005-09-19 20:00:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Gold dust

Submitted by Barnymeinhoff at 2005-09-19 19:24:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

2 thumbs fresh!

Submitted by Saxon at 2005-09-19 18:51:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

<stands applauds> hahahaha good stuff ETS.

Submitted by joedaddy at 2005-09-19 18:30:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

http://www.sfwriter.com/hotal.htm

I would have expected and respected a response, by you, within the historic time frame
you've continually demonstrated on previous posts, but a save is still a save.

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2005-09-19 18:20:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I feel like refried crap right now. Thanks for a much needed laugh.

Remember, some of us are not kids anymore, so go easy on the tiny fonts. I was squinting so hard I suffered testicular torsion.

Submitted by sixxforty at 2005-09-19 17:54:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-09-19 17:32:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=neandertal

How did I know somebody would do that?

Submitted by joedaddy at 2005-09-19 17:10:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Neanderthal

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2005-09-19 17:07:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2005-09-19 17:06:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It was the top right corner of the Ughsite pic that earned you this +2.





'Bang Chest' indeed.

Submitted by calbearspolo at 2005-09-19 17:00:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bang!

Submitted by bob at 2005-09-19 16:57:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oh man. i was ready to -2 this because it was meh.

but that last picture

so fucking funny.



If it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing
defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer and Apu