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How does one go about raping the willing?

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2005-11-26 03:04:53 EST
Rating: 1.94 on 48 ratings (48 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

As I was browsing through Ubersite today, I came across a humorous add for trigger locks. It said something along the lines of “Rapists Love Trigger Locks”. This brought up memories of an amusing incident that happened to me. So get ready for story time...

Two years ago, me and my girlfriend/fiance/booty call(in THAT particular order) were up on this hill next to a radio tower that overlooked the whole city. Were we up there because it was romantic? Hell no. It was the only place our underaged asses could drink and not get caught.

We’re laying in the bed of my truck, drunk and staring at the stars. Then, of course, things start heating up. After a few minutes of kissing and heavy petting, I go down on her. Everything’s going good for about 5 minutes, and then it happened.

This 4-foot-11, frail, meek, shy Japanese girl blurts out, “I want you to rape me.”

God, what I wouldn’t give to see what I looked like as I removed my head from between her thighs, wiped off my mouth and muttered “Wha...?”

After my astonishment wore off a bit, I wondered “How am I supposed to pull THIS off?” I’ve got no rope, no weapons, nothing. And by “Rape”, does she just want it rough, with the usual choking and hair pulling? I’m assuming she doesnt really want me to beat her black and blue, throw her over the cliff and leave her for dead.

I was forced to improvise a bit. I pulled her over to a chain link fence, and tied her hands to it with her panties. But other than that... it was just like any other session. I was debating with myself if I should say “Okay, I am raping you now” while we were going at it. But I realized that would just be weird, and the last thing this situation needs is MORE weird.

Needless to say, we never spoke of that day again.

“So Chris, your girl had a fantasy and you pretty much let her down? What up wit’ dat?”

See, I’m thinking the same thing. Chris has NEVER been one to let the ladies down.

So what I was thinking was the next time I take leave and go to So Cal, I’ll stop by a sporting goods store and pick up some rope, a ski mask and maybe a huge hunting knife. I’ll go to her apartment, knock on her door, and when she opens it, thats when I’ll go into action.

She’ll obviously be surprised to see me, seeing as how we havnt spoken in about a year.

“Chris, what are you doing here?”

I don my mask. Look at her and say “Oh, just trying to fulfill your wish.”

“Huh? What are you talking abo–aaaccchhhh!”

Did you know I can knock you out with a sleeper hold in about 3 seconds? Well, SHE does now...

When she wakes up, she’ll be bound and gagged. And I’ll go to town on her. Occasionally giving her five across the face when she starts resisting or making too much noise. When I’m done, I’ll cut her loose, take of the ski mask and proudly boast, “Ahhh, another satisfied customer. You got any beer?”

>>>>Fast Forward about 2 weeks<<<<

“But your Honor, she WANTED me to rape her...”

“Oh, I’m sure she did, Lieutenant Cali. Well, there will be plenty of raping where YOU'RE going.”


Shit, maybe I should sleep on this...

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Submitted by williamson at 2006-02-18 22:30:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Cute girl.


I can't even imagine hearing "I want you to rape me" mid-session...

Submitted by Jacobt26 at 2006-02-18 22:25:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Shoulda just stuck it in her ass.
If she protests, just smack her, and afterwards claim you were only doing what she wanted.

Submitted by MistressFist at 2006-01-23 09:39:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent.

Submitted by Nellypaal at 2006-01-23 09:29:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I read this months ago and didn't rate it.

WTF?!

Submitted by DanielH at 2005-11-29 15:56:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+ + + Did your girlfriend help?

Submitted by ozzy at 2005-11-29 04:58:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No comment needed

Submitted by JonnyX at 2005-11-28 18:18:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

needs more lojope

Submitted by Cryslynn1 at 2005-11-28 13:42:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The harder, the better.

Submitted by Dreg at 2005-11-28 13:28:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg at 2005-11-28 13:28:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

getting you to 40 reviews

Submitted by katianakate at 2005-11-28 09:37:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

My boss just asked me why I'm crying (because I am laughing silently with tears in my eyes at this). Seriously girls fantasise that all the time, and don't worry about hurting too much, if they can ask you to rape em, they can tell you to get the fuck off too!

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2005-11-28 09:30:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

All you have to do is mention the word rape a few times, and you've got your +2 on 40+ reviews in the bag.

Submitted by Mike00295 at 2005-11-28 09:13:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Berty at 2005-11-28 08:26:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Rapity rape rape.

Submitted by Average_Dan at 2005-11-28 08:11:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice.

Submitted by Xcuses at 2005-11-27 11:03:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I use to play a game called rape when I was but a mere teenager. It was my sister's friends idea. I've said too much...

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2005-11-27 02:49:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I condone rape. Daily.

Submitted by krissi at 2005-11-26 20:45:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed.

Submitted by Oleannder at 2005-11-26 20:13:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

pretty damned funny

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2005-11-26 19:43:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

My problem is I always feel like I'm not being rough enough to really make the 'experience' but I don't know if she really wants to get THAT hurt. It's a problem that all men must face on day.

Submitted by freebie at 2005-11-26 19:35:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

We've been married fifteen years and my wife still likes this game.

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2005-11-26 17:50:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I could offer you some tips on how one goes about it, if you'd like, but I don't think that anyone cares that much.

Submitted by GaidinCanuck at 2005-11-26 17:26:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Common fantasy, and it's fun to play with. Mostly she probably just wanted you to talk nasty to her, while having your way with her.

It's even more confusing when a girl says she wants to rape you. Happened to me once, all I could do was lie back and mutter some nonesense about how I wanted her to stop, but not really doing anything about it.

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2005-11-26 15:49:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Well, being 6-foot-4 and 240lbs., I'd like to assume I'd be the raper rather than the rapee...
Hmmm, I should just stop waxing and bleaching my ass... just to be on the safe side

Submitted by Draqus at 2005-11-26 13:39:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

She seems to be a bit weird.

Well, more than a bit, I guess. Fucked up in the fucking head. You should go to hell- sorry, jail- just for dating her, nutcase.

Or something like that. Maybe I'm just liking the idea of seeing you gang-raped by lots of muscly-types.

Mmhhhmmmmm...

Submitted by Bob_Dole at 2005-11-26 11:43:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

needs more rape... wait.. um.. hm.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2005-11-26 09:00:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

the nipponese are fucking weird

Submitted by absolutzero at 2005-11-26 08:59:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2



Priceless piece of humor....



Submitted by Walker at 2005-11-26 08:40:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ever heard of a "rape date"?

Submitted by Magic_Monkey at 2005-11-26 08:05:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"But your Honor, she WANTED me to rape her.”

----------------


Priceless

Submitted by Monarch at 2005-11-26 07:36:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I wondered "How am I supposed to pull THIS off?" I've got no rope, no weapons, nothing. And by "Rape", does she just want it rough, with the usual choking and hair pulling?

-------------------

If had a dime for everytime I thought that I'd have, like...

...no money.

So sue me, I've never had someone ASK me to rape them. (And I don't think that we're counting the ones that don't ask, are we? O.o)

Submitted by CHR15 at 2005-11-26 06:05:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Chris has NEVER been one to let the ladies down"

So when did we meet and how do you know so much about me?

Submitted by Method at 2005-11-26 05:09:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

there ya go, much better

Submitted by Avals at 2005-11-26 04:41:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just the right amount of rape.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 04:24:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-26 04:24:28 (#)
Ranking: 2

send it to me


www.myspace.com/rad1101

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Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2005-11-26 04:18:48 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-26 03:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2

why don't you link us to the author who posted the amusing advert, and give that person some credit and love.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is your Prizzity Prizops, nugga. Oh, and this pic also got me a death threat on myspace... stay tuned for THAT fiasco...

Submitted by Garrik at 2005-11-26 04:22:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2005-11-26 04:13:53 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-26 04:07:09 (#)
Ranking: 2

im such an attention whore
-------------------------------

yes, yes you are, and I love you for it.
um... I mean... "Thanks Dude, how about a brewski?" *grunt* burp*

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 04:07:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

im such an attention whore

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 04:06:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/54596

if you had a 15 year old willing to have sex, you would still be raping her by statute.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 04:05:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2005-11-26 04:04:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-26 03:55:09 (#)
Ranking: 2

and after you do that link to the other post he wrote that answers the question you pose in your title.
-----------------------------
well, let me know who it is, and I'll put it on my to-do list

shit am i gonna have to read EVERY post on this site to make sure I'm not "copying" someone elses work?
damn, I'm boned

Submitted by leilani at 2005-11-26 04:03:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

needs more r..... uh... nevermind

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 03:55:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

and after you do that link to the other post he wrote that answers the question you pose in your title.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-11-26 03:54:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

why don't you link us to the author who posted the amusing advert, and give that person some credit and love.

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2005-11-26 03:50:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

FYI
In no way, shape or form do I condone rape.

Shit, hope that doesn't ruin my image.

Submitted by c1ndy at 2005-11-26 03:37:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

haha

Submitted by Wisher at 2005-11-26 03:26:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I was debating with myself if I should say "Okay, I am raping you now" while we were going at it. But I realized that would just be weird, and the last thing this situation needs is MORE weird.
*******
haha

Submitted by CanucksFan at 2005-11-26 03:16:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This ones for lojope.


Apu: You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?

Homer: Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone.

Homer's Night Out