login / register
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!

Ubermas '05 (just for fun): 12 Days of Christmas(NSFW)

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-19 15:05:22 EST
Rating: 1.8 on 26 ratings (26 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I wish I was at home instead of work so I could have recorded this with guitar and keys.

Nevertheless, here's a fun entry...not my best writing by any stretch, but just for fun, seeing as I'm currently bored off my ass at the office avoiding a deadline. I'm sure Orgasmatron can think of some terrific suggestions for changes.

~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~

On the first day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
A shitpost as bad as can be.

On the second day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the third day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the fourth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the fifth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the sixth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the seventh day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the eighth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
nate's teats for milking,
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the ninth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Michael Jackson dancing,
nate's teats for milking,
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the tenth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Fat Tony raping,
Michael Jackson dancing,
nate's teats for milking,
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the eleventh day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Big penos piping,
Fat Tony raping,
Michael Jackson dancing,
nate's teats for milking,
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be.

On the twelfth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Cunts made for cumming,
Big penos piping,
Fat Tony raping,
Michael Jackson dancing,
nate's teats for milking,
Rabbits gone a-pimping,
Girls Shlongy's laying,
Songs Cap'n sings,
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz,
Boys Method loves,
And a shitpost as bad as can be!

~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~~*-*~





And just for the hell of it, here's a potential preview of what COULD transpire at Ubercon Ponocos if you play your cards right with Tiger...




A well deserved punishment for all the -2s.jpg
A well deserved punishment for all the -2s.jpg


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-12-08 11:27:03 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'd forgotten how glorious this UberMas competion was.

Submitted by Merlina at 2005-12-30 04:57:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-22 09:08:29 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-20 17:17:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Scorned have you the instant message of the Orgasmatron.
Seek to reply to the screen name MrBringdown the next time you see it, lest I cast you out of my favor and into the ether from whence you were created.

Smooches, O
================================================================

Sorry - I've been away from Uber for a few days. Yesterday was my first day off work and I spent the whole day in my recording studio with a college buddy working on some a cappella stuff. I'll have plenty to post after editing/mixdown!

Submitted by ledastwins at 2005-12-20 17:26:53 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2005-12-20 17:17:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Scorned have you the instant message of the Orgasmatron.
Seek to reply to the screen name MrBringdown the next time you see it, lest I cast you out of my favor and into the ether from whence you were created.

Smooches, O

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-20 08:09:07 EST (#)
Rating: 0

What the deuce, ETS? I thought we were best Uber-buddies!

*cries emo tears*

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-12-19 21:11:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-12-19 19:15:02 (#)
Ranking: 0

+1 for the post, but -1 because you mentioned Shlongy



BUhauahauahahauahuahaaaaa

King of the dipshits now cries in OTHER peoples' posts instead of exclusively in his own.

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2005-12-19 20:01:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-12-19 16:08:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

On the fourth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz

===


Wasn't that more than slightly redundant?

--

HA!

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2005-12-19 19:15:02 EST (#)
Rating: 0

+1 for the post, but -1 because you mentioned Shlongy

Submitted by scourge at 2005-12-19 18:09:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Well, you know how to play to your audience.

Submitted by Xcuses at 2005-12-19 16:14:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And just for the hell of it, here's a potential preview of what COULD transpire at Ubercon Ponocos if you play your cards right with Tiger...
-------------------

*cancels trip*

jk

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2005-12-19 16:08:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

On the fourth day of Ubermas,
my alter sent to me
Four Caulincourts,
Gay French menz

===


Wasn't that more than slightly redundant?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-19 15:42:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:28:10 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:24:20 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:21:42 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm glad there's a skeleton crew around the office this week because Shlongy was just laughing out loud in his office...and that was even BEFORE I got to my name drop.

You're a funny guy...let's get together for some drinks so I can see if you're funny in "real life", or just when hiding behind a monitor.
------------------------------------------

Ditto that on the skeleton crew over here in central Illinois - it's allowed me to camp on Uber much more than usual today. Drinks? Sounds great. When you coming to Peoria, or the rough vicinity?

------------------------------------------

Ummmmmmm, probably never.

I saw the fucking game last night on ESPN. It'll probably warm up in Illinois by next July. Methinks Hilton Head is a much better place for a visit.
===========================================

God I hate living out here in the middle of the Midwest. Wish there were more of you around Chicago.

Ah well, Shlongy, I'll just have to see if I can get my employer to send me anywhere near your whereabouts...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-12-19 15:28:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:24:20 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:21:42 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm glad there's a skeleton crew around the office this week because Shlongy was just laughing out loud in his office...and that was even BEFORE I got to my name drop.

You're a funny guy...let's get together for some drinks so I can see if you're funny in "real life", or just when hiding behind a monitor.
------------------------------------------

Ditto that on the skeleton crew over here in central Illinois - it's allowed me to camp on Uber much more than usual today. Drinks? Sounds great. When you coming to Peoria, or the rough vicinity?





Ummmmmmm, probably never.

I saw the fucking game last night on ESPN. It'll probably warm up in Illinois by next July. Methinks Hilton Head is a much better place for a visit.

Submitted by ahumblefool at 2005-12-19 15:24:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Love the poem, the picture though...

I could never do a three way with another guy, if his dick touched me in any way, I would have to take a bandsaw and remove that body part instantly.

Submitted by ghola at 2005-12-19 15:24:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you fuckin rock at life.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-12-19 15:24:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

When I sing it, I can't get through "Gay French Menz" without spitting all over the monitor.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-19 15:24:20 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-19 15:21:42 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm glad there's a skeleton crew around the office this week because Shlongy was just laughing out loud in his office...and that was even BEFORE I got to my name drop.

You're a funny guy...let's get together for some drinks so I can see if you're funny in "real life", or just when hiding behind a monitor.
------------------------------------------

Ditto that on the skeleton crew over here in central Illinois - it's allowed me to camp on Uber much more than usual today. Drinks? Sounds great. When you coming to Peoria, or the rough vicinity?

Submitted by Foonbo at 2005-12-19 15:22:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

ooh-rah.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-12-19 15:21:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm glad there's a skeleton crew around the office this week because Shlongy was just laughing out loud in his office...and that was even BEFORE I got to my name drop.

You're a funny guy...let's get together for some drinks so I can see if you're funny in "real life", or just when hiding behind a monitor.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-12-19 15:21:19 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Hahahahahaha - beat you to the punch, did I, Orgasmo?

Methinks we need to communicate to avoid trampling on each other. Give me a holler on AIM at dsvmusic or drop me an e-mail - dsvmusic at yahoo - if you want to collaborate on something.

Oh, and I'm most particularly proud of day 8 - "nate's teats for milking." :)

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2005-12-19 15:15:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Youuuuuuuusonofabitch.

I was going to do something just like this today, but I knew I had to hold it for a day so as to not double-post and shoot the UberMas: Round Three post off the front page.




And yet, this was fantastic.

Porn never hurts, either.

But this was great without a seasonal go-round of 'one in the pink, one in the stink.'


Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2005-12-19 15:14:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

what she doesn't do dv/da?

Submitted by CanucksFan at 2005-12-19 15:13:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

excellent

Submitted by MistressFist at 2005-12-19 15:12:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ha ha!!

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-12-19 15:09:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That picture fucking rocks!!!


Lenny: Yeah, he got injured on the job and they sent him home with
pay. Pfft. It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity.

Homer: Stupidity, eh?

King-Size Homer