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Jowly McJiggles Is Not An Appropriate Nickname For The New Intern

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-11 23:10:05 EST
Rating: 1.91 on 174 ratings (174 reviews) (Review this item) (V)



The new intern is so fat.

HOW FAT IS SHE?

She’s so fat that when I first saw her, I thought some one cloned the 400-pound librarian from downstairs and during the cloning process, they slipped in some manatee DNA, creating a disgusting creature with two heads, cottage cheese thighs and a front butt the size of Prince Edward Island.

(For those of you unfamiliar with Prince Edward Island, it’s the only province in Canada that can be rented for the weekend for office parties and high school proms. The people reside in giant underground peapods and come out only on Saturdays to watch Hockey Night in Canada and sacrifice small children and possibly goats to their Jewish god. It has an active volcano, named Mount Soliciting-Sex-From-A-Minor, but it has been out of work since the cod fishery shut down.)

The first time I spotted the new intern, it was from afar. I was aboard my whaling ship and thought I had just sighted my next kill. I was readying the harpoons when I was rudely informed that we’re not allowed to dress like pirates anymore since ‘Dress Like A Pirate Thursday’ was banned after some one ripped up the new carpets with his hook. I’m not naming names but he sits at my desk and doesn’t like wearing shoes while he’s surfing the Internet for naked pictures of Natalie Portman.

"Now Steven, don’t make fun of the new intern," said Corey, my imaginary boss. I’ve had to imagine a boss since my real boss is only in the office for twenty minutes a day, before going for a four hour lunch with the guy who wrote ‘Yummy, Yummy, Yummy I’ve Got Love In My Tummy.’ I’ve heard rumors that they’re working on a sequel to the song called ‘All This Love In My Tummy Is Putting a Strain on My Spine And I’ll Need Major Surgery Within The Year Or Else I'll Die.’

"But Corey....she’s so fat. It’s like high school all over again!" I said.

"So you’re going to take her to the prom and leave her on the dirt road in front of the hall, while you go home to watch the hockey game in your underwear?" Corey replied.

Me: "I fucking hate you Corey."

Corey: "FUCK YOU, YOU’RE FIRED."

Me: "FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT REAL."

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the night imagining a new boss. I forgot to introduce myself to the new intern as well, out of fear that I’ll be eaten and my bones will be used as fishing hooks by the pigmy people living in her back-fat to catch the mice that follow her around all the time. I haven’t seen the mice. I’ve just heard them. Just like how my dad told me my grandparents used to live in our attic. I never saw them. I just heard their ghostly moans from above along with their ghostly music. My grandparents listened to a lot of Barry White. They sure had a lot of sex for dead people.

The next day my keen sense of timing brought the intern and me to the front of the elevator together. We then got on the elevator when it arrived on our floor because that’s what people do when an elevator arrives. I was going to second floor cafetorium to steal some plastic spoons to melt in the new microwave and blame on the Dutch janitor. She was going home to devour several hams and cry. At least that’s what I think she was doing. I can’t read minds or anything.

"Hi."

At first I thought air was escaping from a large tire. Instead it was just air escaping her mouth. I'd escape from her mouth if I was air. Maybe I am air. Hmm...

"Sup," I replied. That’s how I address people. That’s why I’m such a charming young man with a full social calendar and plenty of friends.

"I’m the new intern. My name is Fakey McName," she extended her hand. It was like looking into the sun but without any of the fun after affects like temporary blindness or permanent blindness. Or partial blindness. Either way, I was praying for blindness.

"I’m four-time SuperBowl winner Joe Montana," I replied. "I’d shake your hand but my hands are my livelihood."

She raised an eyebrow. Or some pudding shifted place underneath her skin. Either or. "That’s…nice."

"Some times I have to hang onto the walls to keep from falling off the Earth. My gravitational quotient is inverse to the Earth’s polarity," I cocked my head and stared at her without blinking.

"I…um…I just started here."

"I can only see things in black and white. Right now, you look like a six-foot-seven, black guy named ‘Toby.’ Want to be on my basketball team? Right now it's got two people. Me and.....um...you?"

Then I got off the elevator.

"Goodbye, friend." I said, waving. "If you ever want an autograph or anything, you know where to find me, Joe Montana."

"Um. Bye."

The very next day, I got a threatening email from one of my real bosses saying that claiming to be Joe Montana won’t be tolerated and to stop making fun of the new intern. She’s a fragile young flower that must have her soul stomped slowly rather than quickly. Slower, he explained, causes lasting pain and guilt. And that the Dutch janitor has been warned about melting spoons in the microwave.

Friggin’ Dutch janitors. I swear, if I hear him clogging on the second floor one more time, I’ll dress like Hitler and hide in his garbage cart. I haven’t had much use for my Hitler costume since ‘Dress Like Hitler Wednesdays’ were revoked after the Great Panty Fiasco of 2004. I won’t go into details but it involved some one dressed as Hitler (most likely the guy that sits at my desk) shooting thongs off around the office while yelling, "I am the Thong Fairy! I am the Thong Fairy! All hail the Lord of the Thongs!"

So remember: It’s okay to make fun of the foreign janitorial staff, but not the fragile, young, fat intern. She may save your life in the event of a large flood or when it starts raining cupcakes made of poison.

And if you’re going to get drunk and sneak into a movie, make sure it’s not Brokeback Mountain. Especially if you're with your dad.








Dutch%20Maid-I.jpg
Dutch%20Maid-I.jpg


Review This Item

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Reviews


Submitted by ICO at 2007-09-04 16:42:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by hot_pocket at 2007-06-19 22:10:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i like you and this made me smile
have this +2, on the house

Submitted by darko at 2007-06-19 20:44:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

And you haven't been on B@W in forever, that needs to change soon.
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-11 23:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I love you.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2007-06-19 20:22:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was the post that interested me in this place.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2006-08-08 03:28:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by darko at 2006-06-24 02:53:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Long ways to go til 10K

Submitted by fun_with_needles at 2006-05-12 04:02:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hail, Gunslinger.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-05-08 20:59:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

At first, I thought you had it. Then I rechecked and discovered that MichaelJackson beat you by two reviews.

I even had your award speech drafted and everything. You got the mysterious bag of wood on my balcony and my sixth grade science notebook.

If we're both still here for the 10,000 review, your prize will be killing me and then yourself because we'll both be in need of some murder/suicide by that point. Some sort of -cide anyways. Chocolaticide perhaps.

I WANT SOME ICE CREAM WITH GUMMIE BEARS IN IT. RIGHT NOW. FUCK.

Submitted by darko at 2006-05-08 18:57:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

DAMN IT, I WANT THAT AWARD!

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-05-08 18:36:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

And the award for my 5,000 review goes to....

MichaelJackson.

For his/her/its prize, MichaelJackson gets a can of clam chowder I found when I was moving and a wet ball of paper towel I made trying to clone a fish.

SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DREAMER

Submitted by MichaelJackson at 2006-05-08 08:05:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I own a pair of clog slippers

Submitted by williamson at 2006-04-10 11:07:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Fucking great.

Submitted by blueboy at 2006-03-11 11:31:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hey, Pelvis alter, I'm supposed to be the one who spams stevie's posts!

Submitted by Pelvis_Man at 2006-03-11 11:11:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You're mean, and you've got balls. I like you. I like balls...

Submitted by Pelvis_Man at 2006-02-06 00:43:26 EST (#)
Rating: 1

T'was good, but I expected more coming from ya.

Submitted by Ingsoc at 2006-02-04 17:21:19 EST (#)
Rating: -2

This really didn't do it for me.

Submitted by Wisher at 2006-01-25 04:33:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Steve, your mama's so fat her blood type is Ragu.

{I just like practicing.}

Submitted by Kidmc at 2006-01-25 04:29:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Brilliant i want more!! Now +2

Submitted by lucid at 2006-01-23 18:10:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Very Funny

Submitted by the_lone_stranger at 2006-01-23 17:38:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

For Pete's sake, could you tone down the hilarity next time?

You made me laugh out loud at work, and I work in a library. And I can't control the volume of my laugh. Or the duration. In fact, I pretty much rave like a lunatic all day.

Good day sir.

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2006-01-23 12:53:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hilarious.

Submitted by munkeypants at 2006-01-23 01:35:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome

Submitted by Razor at 2006-01-20 16:49:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-01-20 12:26:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats at B@W

Submitted by weasul at 2006-01-20 01:30:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Front Butt = Fat Upper Pussy Area. Fupa. A term that is so much more fun.

Always take the opportunity to make fun of fat people.

Submitted by the_grendel at 2006-01-19 17:04:26 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-01-19 03:59:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

no fonzie on waterskis.

Submitted by emxel at 2006-01-18 22:21:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Hi."

At first I thought air was escaping from a large tire. Instead it was just air escaping her mouth. I'd escape from her mouth if I was air. Maybe I am air. Hmm...

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-01-18 16:15:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Finally, B@W

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-18 14:51:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You damn better

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-18 14:47:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Dammit, I would be on MVA if I posted every day...

I LOVE YOU DARKO

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-18 14:45:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

WHERE'S THAT FUCKER RAD? HE SAID I JUMPED THE SHARK! NO SHARK JUMPING HERE!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-18 14:11:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Michigan Wolverines won the NIT in 2004.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2006-01-18 13:06:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I can't believe I missed this

Submitted by sleepingmonkey at 2006-01-18 12:53:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome to the 10th degree. The pistons won the Finals in 2004.

Submitted by A_D_Sweetmeat at 2006-01-18 12:43:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Now THIS deserves B@W.

Submitted by Mike00295 at 2006-01-18 08:59:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"I'll dress like Hitler and hide in his garbage cart."

Holy shit that was good.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-18 07:04:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I TAKE 74% CREDIT FOR GETTING THIS ON B@W. 20% goes to you for writing it and 6% goes to the actual people who nominated you for it.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2006-01-18 06:08:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Very deserved B@W. Well done dude

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 15:17:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The Tigers won the world series in 1984

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-17 15:04:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

The Rangers won the cup in 1994.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 14:59:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

la da da da da

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 14:05:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The Bloodhound gang is very underrated

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 13:32:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

give it the remaining ten hits

Submitted by Blinkish at 2006-01-17 12:18:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Still fucking hilarious.

B@W

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 12:06:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

clooooose

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 11:45:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

let's get this to 2k

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2006-01-17 07:32:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Little more needs to be said

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-17 07:12:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 before this dies

Submitted by Bob_Dole at 2006-01-16 23:57:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i'll be laughing all day...


Corey: "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED."

Me: "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT REAL."

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-01-16 11:34:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'd like to go to that Island for research.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-01-15 14:55:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-01-15 14:12:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
====================================
Holy fuck you've heard of PEI. I live there. 135 000 folks, whole province. I never thought anybody else on uber knew of our little hell-hole.
------------------------------------
We know of you because it's where all those tasty mussels come from.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-15 14:25:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You don't have to be Jewish to fear the Jewish God!

Submitted by G-prime at 2006-01-15 14:22:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Your description is, amzingly, fairly accurate. Just one thing: Islanders aren't Jewish. I don't think there's four Jews on the whole rock.

Submitted by G-prime at 2006-01-15 14:12:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2



(For those of you unfamiliar with Prince Edward Island, it's the only province in Canada that can be rented for the weekend for office parties and high school proms. The people reside in giant underground peapods and come out only on Saturdays to watch Hockey Night in Canada and sacrifice small children and possibly goats to their Jewish god. It has an active volcano, named Mount Soliciting-Sex-From-A-Minor, but it has been out of work since the cod fishery shut down.)


====================================

Holy fuck you've heard of PEI. I live there. 135 000 folks, whole province. I never thought anybody else on uber knew of our little hell-hole.

Submitted by GaidinCanuck at 2006-01-15 13:19:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

People at work are wondering why I'm laughing. And I can't tell them. :(

Submitted by MrSparkle847 at 2006-01-14 19:50:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B@W

Submitted by DCWoody at 2006-01-14 19:41:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-01-14 19:37:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-14 19:18:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just woke up after sleeping for 16 hours.

Submitted by Crystle at 2006-01-14 15:27:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

dammit. I guess I'm gonna have to make my own waffles. Or go to IHOP>


I'm depressed today, so IHOP it is..

Submitted by Remission at 2006-01-14 14:46:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

IHOP is for chumps or is that chimps? Quite possibly champs.

I love you

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-14 04:29:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i'm going to kill you rad.


whene my bones come backto my arms, that is

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-01-14 04:17:04 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-14 03:57:35 (#)
Ranking: 0

fucking...fucking shit.


THERE ARE NO BONES IN MY ARMS

============

thats not funny.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-14 04:09:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

WAFFLLEES

Submitted by Crystle at 2006-01-14 04:05:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY WAFFLES YET!!

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-14 03:57:35 EST (#)
Rating: 0

fucking...fucking shit.


THERE ARE NO BONES IN MY ARMS

Submitted by douglar02 at 2006-01-14 00:23:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

not sure what i just read, but i liked

Submitted by Lechuga at 2006-01-13 23:50:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B@W

Submitted by Blinkish at 2006-01-13 23:11:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Holy crap my sides hurt from laughing. Gold, pure gold

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-13 23:06:27 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Oh, you'll get your waffles...

Submitted by Crystle at 2006-01-13 22:53:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I still want waffles

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-13 22:24:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I love it when a post breaks 100 reviews.

Makes me happy inside...

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-13 21:07:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

101

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-01-13 19:22:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Holy shit, this post is going nuts.

WOOOO!!!!

Submitted by c1ndy at 2006-01-13 12:52:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

tonight I have to go on a "staff night out".

Submitted by jack11058 at 2006-01-13 12:16:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EatMeCompletely at 2006-01-13 12:06:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

My dad used to call eggs chicken farts.

They really have a club for seals? Like navy SEALS?

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-13 07:27:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

bump

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-13 04:11:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Hey man i have a shitty day every day,ha ha ha h thats why i keep laughing,maybe it will go away.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-13 03:59:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I slept from 1 pm till midnight.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-13 02:58:16 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I had a shitty day today.



That is all.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-13 02:40:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by coley at 2006-01-13 02:18:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

here, have a +2. :)

Submitted by bob at 2006-01-13 02:13:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

man...title = + a bajilion

Submitted by crazyaardvark at 2006-01-13 02:07:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Quality randomness. Just what I needed.

Submitted by Creepy_guy at 2006-01-13 01:22:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Solid!

Submitted by Deconstruction at 2006-01-12 20:53:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

WHY CANT EVERYONE BE STEVES IHOP?
WHY WHY WHY?

Submitted by PokeyPecker at 2006-01-12 18:56:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BananaPhone at 2006-01-12 18:42:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Instead it was just air escaping her mouth. I'd escape from her mouth if I was air."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA!

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-01-12 17:42:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It has an active volcano, named Mount Soliciting-Sex-From-A-Minor, but it has been out of work since the cod fishery shut down.

Submitted by Kale at 2006-01-12 16:44:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-01-12 16:30:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I giggled the whole way through.

Submitted by evesapple at 2006-01-12 16:15:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

another!

Submitted by evesapple at 2006-01-12 16:11:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 Jowly McJiggles

Submitted by leilani at 2006-01-12 15:59:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:06:49 (#)
Ranking: 2

That is so funny.every time.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 15:00:45 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Darko, if you ever need a kidney, I owe you one.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-01-12 13:22:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Funny shit, Skippy.

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-12 13:06:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That is so funny.every time.

Submitted by MyNameIsTim at 2006-01-12 13:02:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

haaaaahhhhllllealuiah

Submitted by kissmyarse at 2006-01-12 12:48:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know who you are but this made my insides giggle.

Submitted by EvilGav at 2006-01-12 12:44:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I've read loads of good stuff on Uber, this is the first one thats had me crying with laughter.

You, sir, are a comedic genius.

Or possibly deranged.

Either way it's goooood!!

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2006-01-12 12:39:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

posh.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2006-01-12 12:37:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

There are.... no.... words.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 12:18:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh and steve, I mantain my little break for uber is the single reason you are not on the MVA

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 12:18:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And how the hell is this not on heated yet?

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 12:17:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I HAVEN'T SLEPT YET!

Submitted by Crystle at 2006-01-12 12:16:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

and..

mmmmmmmm - waffles.


That is all

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Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-01-12 10:05:58 (#)
Ranking: 2

Reading your stuff is like watching a great episode of Seinfeld for the first time.

All I can think is, "Where does he come up with it?"

Well done.

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-01-12 11:58:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Some times I have to hang onto the walls to keep from falling off the Earth. My gravitational quotient is inverse to the Earth's polarity," I cocked my head and stared at her without blinking."

I'm imagining Joe Montana cocking his head to the side and staring at me, and it's making me giggle like a little school girl.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2006-01-12 11:51:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"She raised an eyebrow. Or some pudding shifted place underneath her skin. Either or."

WOW. nicely done. What more can I or need I say?

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-01-12 10:42:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You're back on the drugs!

Hooray!

Submitted by Nellypaal at 2006-01-12 10:40:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Outstanding ramble

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2006-01-12 10:33:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

oh holy hell i can't stop laughing.

Submitted by MistressFist at 2006-01-12 10:10:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Some times I have to hang onto the walls to keep from falling off the Earth. My gravitational quotient is inverse to the Earth's polarity," I cocked my head and stared at her without blinking.

"I...um...I just started here."
======================================
B@W
Fucking classic line.

Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-01-12 10:05:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Reading your stuff is like watching a great episode of Seinfeld for the first time.

All I can think is, "Where does he come up with it?"

Well done.


Submitted by Susie_Derkins at 2006-01-12 10:01:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha I liked the elevator conversation.

Submitted by MichelleNJ at 2006-01-12 09:55:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

classic...

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 09:39:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just got out of my class about the history of videogames. One of our course homework assignments is to play an online game, and we will have to write videogame reviews also. I fucking love college.

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-01-12 09:22:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Still one of the best posts I've seen on Uber in a long while.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2006-01-12 09:07:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fantasticles

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-01-12 08:19:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*takes break from sucking cheese out of hot intern's colon to rate with +2*

Submitted by Avals at 2006-01-12 07:28:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I wish I could be as fucked up as you without the aid of large doses of hallucinogenic substances.

B@W!

Submitted by BadAssJulie at 2006-01-12 07:09:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice.











And I don't believe you have a whaling boat either, you lying bastard!

Submitted by Berty at 2006-01-12 06:27:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 05:35:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you said you had other accounts before this one, Are you in fact Wazza?

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-12 05:14:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2



Stevie Wonderfull is the writter!he is the Man!

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 04:54:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

He's not underrated, just easily forgotten by some.

Submitted by ozzy at 2006-01-12 04:40:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

AHAHAHAHAHA!!

You are the king Steve. I swear you are the most under rated writer on this site.

Submitted by mikethescottish at 2006-01-12 04:31:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Great post!

Submitted by ASO at 2006-01-12 04:12:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Here is another.

=C

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 04:12:17 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I knew you didn't mean it.

Peace be with you, my son.

Submitted by ASO at 2006-01-12 04:08:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

OH no! I meant to. I swear to God. Please dont harpoon me.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:57:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Then why didn't you +2? Why? WHY?

Submitted by ASO at 2006-01-12 03:54:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:05:46 (#)
Ranking: 0

It's how we protect our igloos from polar bears and orca whales.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:02:50 (#)
Ranking: 2


Everyone knows every canadian has their own whaling boat.

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Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:01:52 (#)
Ranking: 0

And for your information I DO have a whaling boat.

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Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-12 02:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0

I do believe that you are a cunt. Die, cunt. Die.

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Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-12 02:52:30 (#)
Ranking: -2

THis isn't nice. my mum has a fat ass.
you should be more respectful to people and I don't believe you even have your own whaling boat or even a job











This is the greatest set of replies I have ever seen on this site.

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-12 03:51:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Besides fat arses are pretty hard to get your hans around when your pullin them up to ya.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:44:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm itchy and smelly.

I need to take a shower.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 03:43:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Baby powder

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:32:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Man I'm itchy.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 03:22:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Diane: I'd love to go with you, but I've got a class right now.
Thornton Melon: Well, why don't you come and see me some time when you have no class.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-01-12 03:16:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:14:09 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:09:21 (#)
Ranking: 0

I'll never question your wisdom, Wazz.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:16:32 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I WISH I HAD CLASS.

....In both senses of the word.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 03:14:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I HAVE CLASS IN 5 HOURS

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 03:14:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-01-12 03:09:21 (#)
Ranking: 0

I'll never question your wisdom, Wazz.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:09:21 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'll never question your wisdom, Wazz.

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-12 03:09:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Luv ya Stevieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Submitted by Wazza at 2006-01-12 03:08:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ha ha ha ha ha , i like it man ,yeah well fat arses? mmmmthey keep your balls outa the frost when ya havin a fuck in the bush!ha ha ha

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:07:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0

The seals burn in our river of hate

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-01-12 03:06:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I thought that was a club for the seals they had.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:05:46 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It's how we protect our igloos from polar bears and orca whales.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 03:02:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Everyone knows every canadian has their own whaling boat.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 03:01:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

And for your information I DO have a whaling boat.

Submitted by stevie_says at 2006-01-12 02:59:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I do believe that you are a cunt. Die, cunt. Die.

Submitted by jagmcmanus at 2006-01-12 02:52:30 EST (#)
Rating: -2

THis isn't nice. my mum has a fat ass.
you should be more respectful to people and I don't believe you even have your own whaling boat or even a job

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-01-12 02:41:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 02:37:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

READ THIS!

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2006-01-12 01:18:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hilarious.

Submitted by MisterCeltic at 2006-01-12 01:10:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fatty math: Front butt + Camel toe = a "Gunt"

Submitted by spedmonkey at 2006-01-12 00:44:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You = teh fucked in teh head

Submitted by SiddleyHawker at 2006-01-12 00:40:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for many things, namely the Hockey Night in Canada reference, (even though I hate the Leaf's)

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 00:35:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

and the fatty dub has chicken, steak, cheddar, swiss, potato, sour cream, peppers, and onions in it.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 00:34:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

a dub by the way is a hybrid sandwhich burrito.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-12 00:32:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

because of this I ordered a fatty dub

Submitted by a_reader at 2006-01-12 00:27:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't do this much, but....



B@W

Submitted by DavyJones at 2006-01-12 00:12:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

...you win at life.

Submitted by ghola at 2006-01-12 00:11:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Corey: "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE FIRED."

Me: "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT REAL."
---------------
This is the point where I thought, "fuck yea, I'm going to read this entire post before I rate it."

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-01-12 00:02:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B-E-A-utiful.
(I hate fatties.)

Submitted by sl4tt3ry at 2006-01-11 23:55:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent
Fat people should be harrassed and belittled

Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky at 2006-01-11 23:53:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

too funny

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-11 23:52:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And you haven't been on B@W in forever, that needs to change soon.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-11 23:50:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I love you.

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2006-01-11 23:41:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha too awesome.

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-01-11 23:32:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Friggin awesomeness as usual. The random-ness is fucking brilliant.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2006-01-11 23:26:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just love your weird and fucked up thoughts. They equal mine in depravity.

Submitted by forthewin at 2006-01-11 23:25:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Uhh... Yeeeeeah.

I'm kind of confused as to what I thought of this. I'll be safe and give you a -2.


It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise,
the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa on Ice