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Besides, I don't wanna be the guy to bed 2 Uber girls. Too much responsibility there.
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The results have come in. They're positive. (NSFW/SPT)

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2006-01-19 16:27:41 EST
Rating: 1.85 on 39 ratings (39 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Hey Uber. As many of you have noticed, I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks. (Actually, I doubt ANY of you noticed... assholes) I’m sick, Uber. No, I’m not talking about having the sniffles and a nagging cough.

This is a life-altering disease. It has unknowingly affected my life for approximately 8 years. It has laid dormant for the most part, with occasional outbreaks occurring every couple of years. I was aware of these outbreaks, but thought nothing of them.

Did it take a doctor to diagnose me? No. A Psychiatrist? No. It was a 21-year-old Sociology student. Or, as I like to call her, my smart-assed girlfriend.

Uber... I have Yellow Fever.

The audacity of that woman to make such a claim! Being an Asian woman herself, I feel she has no right to make such a statement.

Last night, we had come home for having dinner, and there was a message on the answering machine.

--
“Hey Chris, this is Stephanie. I just got the news of your loss*, and wanted to let you know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers.”
--

“Who was THAT?”

“One of my ex’s. I’ve told you about her.”

“Oh yeah. Is she the Japanese or Korean girl?”

“Nah, she is Chinese.”

It was at this point that she pointed out, among many other things, that I have Yellow Fever. And as expected after being diagnosed with such a serious disease, I went through the typical stages of coping...

Denial
“What are you talking about? I don’t have Yellow Fever. Only mentally disturbed perverts have that. Plus, I enjoy porn with all types of girls.”

Anger
“Fuck you. I can’t believe you’d even think about accusing me of something like that.”

Bargaining
“Wait. Hold on a second. I dated a Mexican for 2 months back in 2002. And you are only HALF Asian.

Depression
“Holy crap on a crap cracker... You’re right. Every serious relationship I’ve been in has been with an Asian girl. I’m so pathetic.”

And Finally... Acceptance
“Well, I suppose it’s not all that bad. I mean, Asians do have the tightest cooters.”

So, where does this all stem from? I believe it’s genetic. My sister and I are interracial. So my parents obviously had a thing for other races. My sister, bless her heart, dates mostly black guys. So it’s only natural, I suppose, for me to stray away from white girls as well. But what is it about them that sucks me in?

I do not find Jaundice sufferers attractive.

Those with Down Syndrom only cause me to feel pity.

And I find midgets as more of a source of entertainment, than a source of romance.

It is too late for me. The disease has progressed much too far to be cured. But Uber, heed my advice... they say early detection is the key to survival. The earlier Yellow Fever can be spotted, the greater the chances are of defeating it.

Early signs of yellow fever:

- Random Asian girls begin to stand out in large crowds.
- Blurred-out genitalia in porn goes unnoticed
- When your friends claim Asia Carrera is the hottest Asian porn star, you recommend they check out Bunko Kanazawa
- You can actually remember the name Bunko Kanazawa
- TubGirl is just another shit-covered face to you.


Please, don't let my suffering be in vain












they_make_me_feel_so_good.jpg
they_make_me_feel_so_good.jpg


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Reviews


Submitted by Maltese at 2006-09-01 18:41:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I just jizzed my pants.

Submitted by gank at 2006-09-01 12:33:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nice montage, my man. I just contracted your illness from it.

Submitted by Malachewaii at 2006-01-23 20:35:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Try Kaylani Lei. She's all kinds of hot. So's Maui Taylor, and Miko Lee

Submitted by indoninja at 2006-01-23 19:00:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I used to be really into asian chicks, then I lived in Indo for a few years and worked it out of my system.




Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-01-20 10:16:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is it cold in here?

No, just a Nip in the air.

Submitted by Kidmc at 2006-01-20 08:54:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Great . Sorry to hear about the misscaridge

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-01-20 07:45:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is it possible to have selective Yellow Fever?

Submitted by MyNameIsTim at 2006-01-20 07:25:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i think off the boat asian chicks tend to be weird, but half asian chicks are fucking hot. like lucy lu for instance. damn that's one hot half asian half irish broad.

Submitted by Nellypaal at 2006-01-20 06:59:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That's a fine selection of polnoglaphy and it just upped this to a +2

Submitted by MavisMing at 2006-01-20 04:45:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

We have the same wallpaper.

Submitted by Avals at 2006-01-20 04:20:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:30:55 (#)
Ranking: 2

WE'VE GOT ZIPS IN THE WIRE!!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Submitted by Calios at 2006-01-20 03:18:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by nahnoneofit at 2006-01-20 01:03:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

the collage was a very nice touch

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2006-01-19 23:27:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-19 18:08:57 (#)
Ranking: 1

Well, I didn't know you were "gone" - who are you again? - but I love Asian broads so here's a 1.
==========================

I have to admit. I find any post that Shlongy doesn't -2 to be a success

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-01-19 21:47:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I give you happy ending. Super numba one boom-boom.

Submitted by G-prime at 2006-01-19 21:27:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I noticed you were gone. I think. You're the dude in the navy right? I asked you about ranks once! I feel like I know you!

Sorry, can't help you with the fever. When it comes to women, I'm a white supremist: http://www.ubersite.com/m/65523

link is nsfw.

Submitted by ryan5012 at 2006-01-19 18:20:38 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-01-19 17:54:52 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:33:03 (#)
Ranking: 2

LOOK OUT CHARLIES IN THE TREES

---------------------------------------------------

Awesome.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-01-19 18:08:57 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Well, I didn't know you were "gone" - who are you again? - but I love Asian broads so here's a 1.

Submitted by bob at 2006-01-19 17:54:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:33:03 (#)
Ranking: 2

LOOK OUT CHARLIES IN THE TREES

Submitted by precision at 2006-01-19 17:05:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I thought for a min that you had teh herpes or somthing

Submitted by BadAssJulie at 2006-01-19 16:57:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

What about tiny asian girls with huge fake boobies? Now that's an interresting sight to see. Especially if their fake boobies are bigger than their heads.

Submitted by Jacobt26 at 2006-01-19 16:55:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Linking that was fucked up Dreg, now if only I could +2 reviews...

Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2006-01-19 16:55:25 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:45:58 (#)
Ranking: 1

Williamson?

==================

I actually wanted to bring that up...

Submitted by joedaddy at 2006-01-19 16:54:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2


i remember the time we all had yellow fever so bad at Camp Radcliff
the fucking aircraft couldn't land because of the clap clouds above the base


Submitted by PokeyPecker at 2006-01-19 16:53:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I had a Vietnamese/Swiss girlfriend once. She was incredible in the sack, but I think that had more to do with her being European than anything else.

Europeans are sluts.

Submitted by Mike00295 at 2006-01-19 16:51:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yup.

Submitted by leilani at 2006-01-19 16:48:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:47:59 (#)
Ranking: 2

But they are totally worthless behind the wheel. Don't ever..........EVER.........let her drive.
____

AHAHAHAHAHA agreed

Submitted by COMountain at 2006-01-19 16:47:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

But they are totally worthless behind the wheel. Don't ever..........EVER.........let her drive.

Submitted by Dreg at 2006-01-19 16:46:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2006-01-19 16:46:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

1.5

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2006-01-19 16:45:58 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Williamson?

Submitted by shitfuck at 2006-01-19 16:45:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-01-19 16:30:55 (#)
Ranking: 2

WE'VE GOT ZIPS IN THE WIRE!!

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2006-01-19 16:41:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Tragic.

Submitted by leilani at 2006-01-19 16:40:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

that sucks about the miscarriage. sorry to hear it. here's a +2 for your troubles.

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2006-01-19 16:38:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just looking at down syndrome kids makes me want to take a shower.

Submitted by MistressFist at 2006-01-19 16:35:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Do you like pee pee in your tea?

I'm sorry about the miscarriage, that sucks. You both are young and have lots of time for more babies in the future though.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-01-19 16:33:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

LOOK OUT CHARLIES IN THE TREES

Submitted by Jacobt26 at 2006-01-19 16:32:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

At least you don't have jungle fever, like your sis.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2006-01-19 16:30:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

WE'VE GOT ZIPS IN THE WIRE!!


I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we
become a family of traveling acrobats.

-- Homer Simpson
Dog of Death