JonnyX’s Super Kick-Ass Macaroni-n-Cheese RecipeSubmitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 15:38:04 EST
Rating: 1.74 on 43 ratings (43 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
TigerLilly was bragging the other day about her macaroni-n-cheese, and well, I could not let that stand.
My macaroni-n-cheese is so deliciously creamy, so cheesy, so awesome that the Surgeon-General has decreed that no one can have a third helping, because your arteries will freakin’ explode!
(and by the way, girls, if you haven’t learned how to cook yet, start. For that matter, GUYS if you haven’t learned to cook yet, start. Trust me, chicks REALLY dig it when a guy knows his way around a kitchen. Axolotl, you’re a young guy, if start now, you’ll be cooking as well as you write, and then you will be awash in poontang…)
Anyways. Back to the recipe. Seriously, this is not difficult, any of you can make this. Here is what you need:
1 box Kraft DELUXE Macaroni & Cheese (the kind with the squeeze pouch, NOT the generic shit with the yellow powder – any of the Deluxe type will do, but I prefer the Sharp Cheddar)
8 oz. sour cream (that’s the small tub of sourcream)
1 bunch green onions
4 oz bacon bits (it comes a small, thin jar, use about half that jar – and use REAL bacon, none of those fake-ass Bac-o’s, they taste like shit.)
4 cups shredded cheddar cheese (two of the standard size bags)
1 ½ cup milk
1 tablespoon Lowry’s Seasoning (dude, Lowry’s Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING – steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals…it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation. If you don’t have some in your house, go buy that shit today – you’ll be glad you did.)
Salt and pepper to taste.
OK. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees (sorry, no microwave recipe available) Boil the macaroni until done.
You need a 9x9 Pyrex dish, or a small Dutch oven – the kind you’d make pot roast in, not a cake pan.
Combine milk, sour cream, Lowry’s, and the yellow gloop that comes with the box of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese in the pan, mix it all up so its like cheesy syrup.
Next, stir in the bacon bits.
Next, take the green onions, take half the bunch, chop up the green ends of them (we’re talking 3 or 4 stalks here), then take those chopped onions, stir them in too.
By this time, your macaroni should be cooked. Drain the macaroni, add it to the cheesy gloop, and stir it up real good.
Now, take one of the bags of shredded cheese (2 cups) and fold it into the macaroni mixture. Get it all mixed up good, then open the other bag and sprinkle half (1 cup) atop the macaroni.
Place the pan in your oven, for about 18-22 minutes.
Then pull it out of the oven, and you’re good to go!
Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)
How good is this mac-n-cheese? When I served it to Nigel Tufnel, of Spinal Tap, he pronounced it “none, none more cheesy.”
Top that, bitches.
To see what you will look like after eating my macaroni-n-cheese, scroll down to the pic below (mild NSFW)
p.s My mac-n-cheese is best eaten hot 'n' fresh - if you do have leftovers and want to eat it the next day, add a little milk and/or sour cream to it, stir, and re-heat