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JonnyX’s Super Kick-Ass Macaroni-n-Cheese Recipe

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 15:38:04 EST
Rating: 1.74 on 43 ratings (43 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

TigerLilly was bragging the other day about her macaroni-n-cheese, and well, I could not let that stand.

My macaroni-n-cheese is so deliciously creamy, so cheesy, so awesome that the Surgeon-General has decreed that no one can have a third helping, because your arteries will freakin’ explode!

(and by the way, girls, if you haven’t learned how to cook yet, start. For that matter, GUYS if you haven’t learned to cook yet, start. Trust me, chicks REALLY dig it when a guy knows his way around a kitchen. Axolotl, you’re a young guy, if start now, you’ll be cooking as well as you write, and then you will be awash in poontang…)

Anyways. Back to the recipe. Seriously, this is not difficult, any of you can make this. Here is what you need:

1 box Kraft DELUXE Macaroni & Cheese (the kind with the squeeze pouch, NOT the generic shit with the yellow powder – any of the Deluxe type will do, but I prefer the Sharp Cheddar)

8 oz. sour cream (that’s the small tub of sourcream)

1 bunch green onions

4 oz bacon bits (it comes a small, thin jar, use about half that jar – and use REAL bacon, none of those fake-ass Bac-o’s, they taste like shit.)

4 cups shredded cheddar cheese (two of the standard size bags)

1 ½ cup milk

1 tablespoon Lowry’s Seasoning (dude, Lowry’s Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING – steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals…it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation. If you don’t have some in your house, go buy that shit today – you’ll be glad you did.)

Salt and pepper to taste.

OK. Preheat the oven to 275 degrees (sorry, no microwave recipe available) Boil the macaroni until done.
You need a 9x9 Pyrex dish, or a small Dutch oven – the kind you’d make pot roast in, not a cake pan.
Combine milk, sour cream, Lowry’s, and the yellow gloop that comes with the box of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese in the pan, mix it all up so its like cheesy syrup.
Next, stir in the bacon bits.
Next, take the green onions, take half the bunch, chop up the green ends of them (we’re talking 3 or 4 stalks here), then take those chopped onions, stir them in too.

By this time, your macaroni should be cooked. Drain the macaroni, add it to the cheesy gloop, and stir it up real good.
Now, take one of the bags of shredded cheese (2 cups) and fold it into the macaroni mixture. Get it all mixed up good, then open the other bag and sprinkle half (1 cup) atop the macaroni.

Place the pan in your oven, for about 18-22 minutes.

Then pull it out of the oven, and you’re good to go!
Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)


How good is this mac-n-cheese? When I served it to Nigel Tufnel, of Spinal Tap, he pronounced it “none, none more cheesy.”

Top that, bitches.



To see what you will look like after eating my macaroni-n-cheese, scroll down to the pic below (mild NSFW)












p.s My mac-n-cheese is best eaten hot 'n' fresh - if you do have leftovers and want to eat it the next day, add a little milk and/or sour cream to it, stir, and re-heat





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mac_n_cheese
mac_n_cheese


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Reviews


Submitted by JonnyX at 2015-01-13 10:44:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

yum!

Submitted by ih8u2man at 2006-12-12 15:55:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Mmmmmmm a meal and a babe.....pure post.

Submitted by ripple at 2006-12-12 15:35:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

mac-n-cheese is one of my favorite foods. i havent eaten it since ive been in spain (more than 3 months). i was salivating/sexually aroused while reading the description.

Submitted by Hookhand at 2006-10-09 19:25:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+4 for Spinal Tap

Submitted by scourge at 2006-02-02 09:26:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

1 box Kraft DELUXE Macaroni & Cheese (the kind with the squeeze pouch, NOT the generic shit with the yellow powder – any of the Deluxe type will do, but I prefer the Sharp Cheddar)
======
Sorry LingerieModelX- the usage of the above disqualifies this recipe from participation in the best ever mac n cheese contest.

Submitted by hollygolitely at 2006-02-02 08:26:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm sorry, but my rear cannot withstand this recipe.

I think that I gained five pounds just reading about it.

:)

<vomits>

<dies>

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-02-02 07:19:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That's going to become the new bitch snack.

Submitted by Nellypaal at 2006-02-02 05:40:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Does everything in America come pre-made?

Bacon bits in a jar?!
Bags of grated cheese?
Squeeze pouch sauce?

That's not cooking.

And cooking in a Dutch oven? That's gross.

Submitted by Confuzitron at 2006-02-01 22:34:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)"

+2 for that and inspiring this:

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:43:03 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 1

Lingere doesn't normally get positives from me but...Damn that recipe is hot.

--------


Submitted by MrSparkle847 at 2006-02-01 22:31:23 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Er. Outie to innie. Wow.

Submitted by MrSparkle847 at 2006-02-01 22:30:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Eating that will make my penis go from innie to outie? FUCK THAT.

Submitted by pragmatic at 2006-02-01 22:14:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

yum yum

you can substitute any strong tasting cheese with a bit of mild and blue vein.... so smooth and creamy.... delicious.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2006-02-01 21:28:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome

Submitted by Jacobt26 at 2006-02-01 20:07:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm sorry, no matter how much I dislike your posts(If at all) I can't avoid giving them a + because of the pics they come with.

I only read it for the articles.

Submitted by Jacobt26 at 2006-02-01 19:59:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Kind of a bland post, much like that recipe!
Ooo I kill me.

Submitted by knucklesnelson at 2006-02-01 19:38:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

sounds like my kind of treat

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 19:32:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you can see the macaroni if you look real hard

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 17:21:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-01 17:17:54 (#)
Ranking: 2

Ah, food porn. I love it!

But alas Jonny, I am lactose intollerant and cannot sample this wonderful receipe. <weeps>
------
I would die if I couldn't eat cheese - don't worry Bonnie, I'll cook you something else, mmkay?
Better yet, I'll cook you something else whilst wearing my French Maid outfit, how about that?

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2006-02-01 17:17:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ah, food porn. I love it!

But alas Jonny, I am lactose intollerant and cannot sample this wonderful receipe. <weeps>


Submitted by Stabkill at 2006-02-01 17:15:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The government recommends you eat at least 3 servings of Mac & Cheese every day. Wisconsin says 7 servings a day.

Submitted by ghola at 2006-02-01 17:14:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I had to go look in my fridge and see if I had any cheese.

I don't.

:(

Submitted by AshK at 2006-02-01 17:09:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Auto Mac n Cheese +2.


Submitted by ScottPeterson at 2006-02-01 16:59:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just took a GiAnt dump, so I'm ready for some Mac+Cheeze.

Submitted by MyNameIsTim at 2006-02-01 16:38:12 EST (#)
Rating: 1

sounds delish. old bay is filled with shitty ass n ew jersey guido s hore house delicious goodness.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 16:22:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 1

dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING – steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation.




Wrong. That's what Old Bay is. That shit does in my beer.
-------------
Now, I do give mad props to Old Bay, that stuff is pretty good, but it is kinda hard to find some places.
Lowry's has more of a savory TANG to it...it's like a beautiful session of cunnilingus, it has an undescribably delicious taste...

Submitted by MichelleNJ at 2006-02-01 16:16:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just spit coffee everywhere after reading "weenus"

Submitted by RamenNoodle at 2006-02-01 16:06:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This recipe sounds really good bro, although I probably will not incorporate as much bacon bits when I try it. As for men learning how to cook, this is a must. Women are generally impressed, not to mention the fact that fewer women know how to cook now. My wife can barely boil water, so when I want something good to eat I make it myself.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2006-02-01 16:04:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:58:40 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:54:08 (#)
Ranking: 2

Umm? Umm? A mac & cheese covered super model wearing only her undergarments?

**********************
My weenus just went "SPROOOOING-G-G-G!"

-------------------------------------

Weenus...ahahahaha..

Submitted by OneCheapGeek at 2006-02-01 15:58:15 EST (#)
Rating: 1

dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING – steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation.




Wrong. That's what Old Bay is. That shit does in my beer.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2006-02-01 15:54:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:45:24 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2

Now I'm hungry damn you.


For?
-------------------------------------

Umm? Umm? A mac & cheese covered super model wearing only her undergarments?

Submitted by ubetidid at 2006-02-01 15:53:59 EST (#)
Rating: 1

that is wayyyyy too much work for ubet. here's what i do. buy a box of elbow macaroni. AND buy a couple of those brick-sized EXTRA sharp cheddar cheeses.

boil them elbows up. while they're a'boiling, cube cut your cheddar cheeses. when elbows are done, drain, put them back in the pot, keep on about medium heat, throw in them cheese cubes, stir constantly till all cheese melts. EASY HOME-MADE DEEE-LISH

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-02-01 15:53:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm down with the recipe...all but the onion part.

That chick looks like a conehead.
------
Truth be told, you can leave the onions out, and it's still quite awesome. As a matter of fact, I forget the onions about half the time - the molten cheesy goodness is the draw for the recipe anyways.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2006-02-01 15:49:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm down with the recipe...all but the onion part.

That chick looks like a conehead.

Submitted by Teephphah at 2006-02-01 15:48:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

1 tablespoon Lowry's Seasoning (dude, Lowry's Seasoning goes on EVERYTHING – steaks, eggs, baked potatoes, breakfast cereals...it is THE Weapon of Mass Condimentation. If you don't have some in your house, go buy that shit today – you'll be glad you did.)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

+. Fucking. 2.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2006-02-01 15:47:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That would be awesome if it wasn't for the milk.....cheese........and onions. Stoopid food allergies.





Submitted by Agent_Smith at 2006-02-01 15:46:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Serves 4 (or two Jay Pegs)



hahahahahahahahahaha

Submitted by Foolproof at 2006-02-01 15:45:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2

Now I'm hungry damn you.


For?

Submitted by MistressFist at 2006-02-01 15:44:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 2

Now I'm hungry damn you.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-02-01 15:43:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 1

Lingere doesn't normally get positives from me but...Damn that recipe is hot.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2006-02-01 15:42:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Now I'm hungry damn you.

Submitted by Foolproof at 2006-02-01 15:41:39 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Mac and cheese suck.
+1 for the girlie though

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-02-01 15:41:00 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Recipes don't normally get positives from me but...Damn that pic is hot.

Submitted by MistressFist at 2006-02-01 15:40:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Weapon of Mass Condimentation.
==============
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

THAT CHICK IS THE HOTNESS.


But let me tell you, the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a
big fat dynamo.

-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer