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Liquidity Devours

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2006-04-20 03:13:14 EDT
Rating: -0.32 on 31 ratings (31 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Special is the kind of word that's always reserved for those occasions when the mind really doesn't know what it's doing. The human soul can be broken. Did you know that? This body...this flesh...is like wrapping paper on a wondrous gift that everyday we deny ourselves.

Did you know that? I bet you did.

Of course you did. And one day you will know what it is that all of us eventually know. When the body is torn asunder, all possibilities present themselves in an instant, and in that instant you are God. And you can choose to light the fuse again, or allow death to creep over the earth. This is the one key. The key is one of seven. There are but seven souls who will choose not to light the fuse, Mr. _______. 7.

Can you guess who the last of the seven is? Can you guess who forgot to bring his matches to the thought party? When all memory is wiped clean, when there are none left who remember your name, then you never existed at all, but in a dream. Awareness is reality. A wave of the hand and all is erased.

There is no God ever made himself aware that didn't turn right over and fall back to sleep. Remember that ________...if you can.

All things wither in the end...especially love. First to come must be the last to go, but in its own way it is the easiest. The easiest to attain, the easiest to vanquish. And just before the massive dark engulfs the last human heart, a shallow sigh is heard, then there is nothing...nothing save the last quiver of the last human muscle as it twitches and writhes in orgasmic agony...forever and ever.



tell_me_oh_adventurous_spirit_what_is_sacred.jpg
tell_me_oh_adventurous_spirit_what_is_sacred.jpg


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Submitted by DCWoody at 2006-04-22 12:12:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one
of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard!
Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
[singing]
How does it, uh... how does it work?
KNIGHT: I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and
people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
MAYNARD: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
KNIGHT: Three, sir!
ARTHUR: Three!
[boom]

****************************************************************************************

Kinda meh.

Submitted by Istaros at 2006-04-22 00:01:09 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

maybe there is something to say for the immediate nature of the sun’s glow. he is dying, after all –slowly, but surely. have you ever felt what it’s like to be the sun? it’s nothing like the traveling monks will tell you. they speak from a place of enlightenment, and have no place in the discourse of those people who live by the methods and rhythms of the heart. sometimes the cosmic wheel swings in favor of the eternal monkey equation, but what about when something else arrives? what of Quetzalcoatl? are we to deny satiation of his lust for blood? or may we finally become enlightened?

here is everything that matters: what you want, and what you have. anything else is a lie levied by the surreptitious words of the clowns and the kings that dominate the serpentine coil upon which we are all thrown. this kind of ignorance is necessary, you see; without it we become intelligent. and we always end up making appeals for things we don’t even really want.

so, care to share this tree? its fruit is bountiful, but only enters the stomach of the divine once in a while. that is the kind of stimulation over which wars are fought. honestly now; have you never wondered what it must be like to feel the hand of God himself? there is something hidden in the eaves of the church. go, travel within the inner realms of that despondent soul; you may yet, once you probe deeply enough, happen upon that of your own, and once you’ve accomplished this, throw off all your glitter, make way for the white stallion, for you have invaded the outer realms of what it means to be me, and that is not something i can allow.

i wish i could express what it is to have the consummate falcon rise into the firmament constructed by the power of the consuming fire that was sprung from my bosom, and fueled by the palpitations of one particular stubborn soldier that refuses to leave my life in a state of ease. this is the time for my heart to make itself known, but everything else is now falling apart. what did you expect, when you saw that field of wheat rolling in the wind’s own mimicry of a sea? the dirge you are now hearing is something the furtive locksmiths have been crafting ever since this universe was created. i wish i could hear myself singing it, but the simple truth is that you’ve dragged everything away; i live in a world of silhouettes and memories, lone footprints soon to be pulled in to the encroaching waves of a time i could once love. this is not what was supposed to happen.

i’m tired of clean air and sanitary porcelain. i need to breathe the fearful smell that dances between your hair and your neck. i need to see the murky crystalline lie of a reluctant soul hidden by the eyes of one who dreads the very same flame she cherishes. the requiem of your voice will not leave me be, my chest has been bruised by the shadow of your skin, and your cruel ghost is too heavy to be carried off by the four winds. the aroma of another land lies between your lips -and that is the won quest i ache to forget.

perhaps there is a superior dynasty, in the place that shivers with the tension of being pulled between regret and nostalgia. something speaks to me, whispers in my ear with the voice of a demon, whenever i see the digressive rainbow engender its own volatile army of embryonic nightmares. it says, i think, “To this path lies your own salvation, parasite; in it will you find your seal.” but i always forget this.

for that reason, despite the infinite machinations of everything that lies beyond the once-corralled realm of the devastating splendor of ten million miles of highway traveled and hours of love created, i am chained forever to the cruel illusion you have fed me. “Forgive and forget,” is the call of the amphibian queens. “Your life goes on,” cries the raven in my skull. if only i could hear them, then i would finally be all right. shame that i had to embrace myself with your music; it never stops playing, and that is why i am deaf.

Submitted by ConorJS at 2006-04-21 18:33:01 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:12:08 (#)
Ranking: -1

¿Qué el jode?

=========

TERRIBLE grammar. But good work with the upside down ?

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-04-21 01:16:11 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

YOU CAN LIVE SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR PARENT'S BASEMENT, AND EAT THINGS OTHER THAN RAMEN NOODLES IF YOU JUST STOP TAKING THESE DRUGS!

DRUGS BAD!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Submitted by secret_of_nimh at 2006-04-20 23:16:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Kinda like it.

Submitted by Axolotl at 2006-04-20 20:57:33 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-20 03:17:50 (#)
Ranking: 0

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


------

WOO PFF IS BACK

Submitted by apollo88 at 2006-04-20 19:00:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

holy shit pff!

oh and this reminds me of shit i wrote when i was high aged sixteen.

no value whatsoever.

bit like you bradley, you fucking parasite.


Submitted by indoninja at 2006-04-20 14:17:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:06:02 (#)
Ranking: -2

Hey, asshole. Take a shower.
-------------------

He is trying not to waste water.


ETS is all about saving the environment and sticking it to the man, as long as he doesn't have to get off the computer.

Submitted by Oxymoron at 2006-04-20 13:12:08 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

¿Qué el jode?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-04-20 13:06:02 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Hey, asshole. Take a shower.

Submitted by BranDo at 2006-04-20 12:48:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

BRING FORTH THE HOLY HANDGRANATE OF ANTIOCH

3 is the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be 3.
not 2 not 4 but 3.
thou can count 2 but only if it leads to 3.
number 5 is right out.

Submitted by wardy at 2006-04-20 12:08:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OMG ETS LIKE THIS IS SO AMAZING BECAUSE IT USES COLORFUL WORDS AND STUFF!!! I WISH I KNEW HOW TO USE ADJECTIVES LIKE YOU!!! LOLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!@

Submitted by kaos-king at 2006-04-20 12:03:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I actually dug this, except for the last paragraph. I didn't follow that so much.

Seriously, have you ever thought about writing pure fiction?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2006-04-20 10:01:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

There is no spoon.

Submitted by Grimm at 2006-04-20 09:30:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

I don't get it.

Submitted by retrospect at 2006-04-20 09:28:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

"hated it"

*snap snap*

Submitted by Beano312003 at 2006-04-20 07:51:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2006-04-20 07:11:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Can I have my 500 Kuatloos back?

Submitted by indoninja at 2006-04-20 07:03:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Great!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2006-04-20 06:21:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Glad to see you're back on your glaucoma meds.

Submitted by williamson at 2006-04-20 05:47:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

.ati tse mutcaf tE .mutnemamrif repus tnare æuq ,sih ba ,otnemamrif bus tnare æuq ,sauqa euqtisivid ,mutnemamrif sueD ticef tE .siuqa ba sauqa tadivid te :murauqa oidem ni mutnemamrif taiF :sueD euqouq tixiD .sunu seid ,enam te erepsev tse euqmutcaf :metcoN sarbenet te ,meiD mecul euqtivalleppA .sirbenet a mecul tisivid te :anob tesse douq mecul sueD tidiv tE .xul tse atcaf tE .xul taiF :sueD euqtixiD .sauqa repus rutaberef ieD sutiripS te :issyba meicaf repus tnare ærbenet te ,aucav te sinani tare metua arreT .marret te ,mulæc sueD tivaerc oipicnirp nI

Submitted by iddqd at 2006-04-20 05:28:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

maybe you should take some pcp and tray to get at that 'wondrous present', bradley...

Submitted by Foolproof at 2006-04-20 05:27:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-20 03:57:07 (#)
Ranking: 0


TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
---------------
Troon?

What the fuck is Troon?

Submitted by phuzzygish at 2006-04-20 04:35:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Actually, I thought this was pretty _________.

Submitted by hairycoo at 2006-04-20 04:08:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

send me a sample of your greenery

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-04-20 03:57:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Submitted by darko at 2006-04-20 03:48:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-20 03:46:59 (#)
Ranking: 0

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Submitted by FilthyAssistant at 2006-04-20 03:46:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Submitted by Beano312003 at 2006-04-20 03:39:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

There is no God ever made himself aware that didn't turn right over and fall back to sleep
--------------
I don't get it??

Submitted by thorpe at 2006-04-20 03:36:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-20 03:17:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
----------

Um...

Submitted by professorfuckface at 2006-04-20 03:17:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Your mother seems really upset. I better go have a talk with
her -- during the commercial.

-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious