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lol Trumpy is fucked: https://twitter.com/KlasfeldReports/status/1118909536302190592/photo/1
Welcome to Ubersite!

Shitfuck: a tribute.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 17:50:58 EDT
Rating: 0.44 on 33 ratings (35 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Dearest Uber nerds,

I am enjoying this little Uber experience immensely, I don’t mind saying it. Feels good to spew! I know it’s just a website, and barfing out my own megalomaniacal rhetoric to a bunch of random dickheads isn't going to change much about the world we live in. See, I change the world just by being part of it... you all do on a philosophical basis. Even the most pathetic of you trolls are all participating in the organic goop that we all know and love as society. I don't care if this site is a waste of time... its my time. So there. Fuck off.

ANYways...

Recently had the random awesomeness of Mr. Shitfuck’s world introduced to me... and no, not in the ass of my dad- although any of you other fans out there will see the tired joke for what it is. I have spent the last couple days reading up on his demented brilliance- and good Lord... I'm sticky. Its kind of a weird mix of voyeuristic joy, a healthy portion of revulsion, and an odd fascination that one person can be so infinitely entertaining AND offensive.

Its really quite delightful. I wept.

I figured a pseudo tribute post would be in order- mostly for my own enjoyment, but I figured some of you regulars would enjoy the nostalgia AND for all lazy fuckers with better things to do than to mine the gaping shafts of that man’s intellectual goldmine.... I cut n’ pasted some nuggets. (...but hardly a scratch considering the stockpile of riches.)


Enjoy.


r.


---

You're worth your weight in words, and as far as I'm concerned--that's the only real currency.

---


Dear Ubersite--

I fucked you all in your mouths when you were sleeping.

I'm sorry,

Hot Carl.

---

I've heard stories of guys that won't fuck their woman in any position BUT missionary--I bet one night with you could break the Pope himself. Before you realize the closest person to God is balls deep, an entire religion has collapsed.

---

What was the original point of this?

Maybe I just wanted to watch my fingers punch at little keys.

---

Dude, if you're gonna wet your bed over some guy saying 'eat this fucktard' on the internet, maybe you should investigate ways not to be so gay.

---

I bet you get beat up alot.

---

My civil trial is next week, I'm sure the prosecutor will settle my eight million dollar lawsuit out of court. And I can return to my life--return to collecting dead hookers and writing songs about how beautiful my morning farts are.

---

pure nostalgia:[ http://www.ubersite.com/m/48016]

---

That's funny, I don't feel gay.

Maybe it's the small paradise I'm experiencing in these crotchless panties.

--


I humbly accept your nomination for the 2008 Presidential Race.

Together, we will take our countries into new, unchartered territory. And we'll do so in the new spirit of co operation and brotherhood.

And when we win, we will get more drunk than any civilization before us.

Monumentally drunk. And that's how we'll operate things--oh, Saudi Arabia has nukes? Let's get drunk. Wall Street just crashed again? Let's get drunk. AIDS has suddenly mutated and is now passed through the air? Let's get drunk.

We'll ban women's underwear (except for those goddam sexy little thongs) and then make sex our national anthem.

That's right. S-E-X. No singing, just the wondrous melodies of our combined orgasms and ejaculatory flares.

Hair bands are back IN.

Owning pre-packaged music (Brittney, Maddona etc.) is punishable by death, or wet willies.

AIDS and all other STD's are hereby OUTLAWED.

Every single homeless person can have one of our tanks to live in after we end the war.

Guns will be collected and recycled into bongs.

Gang banging rappers will be caged in zoos and beaten with rotten cucumbers daily.

Any others out there for our utopia?

---

I see God everywhere, just not in books and churches.

---

Whole fucking thing is awesome: [http://www.ubersite.com/m/62909]

---

My brain is a tornado of contradiction and nuance, hence the range from downright moronic to a shade better than average.

---

GOD TOLD ME IM MORE FUN THAN JESUS

---

I don't own a time machine--in fact, anyone that tells you that they do is probably an escaped mental patient. I wouldn't trust them behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, they might disappear. Try explaining that one.

---

fuck it.






It’s a shame that his creative tap seems to have run dry of late... and he could very well have quit with that last comment (pussy!).

Methinks it’s a draining combo of being such a galactic asshole and so darn smart. Oh well. Fuck him.

However, if you have a chance I strongly suggest you click on that “user info” and take a little stroll through his poop.


Bring Kleenex and some balls.

fuck you and your silly obsession with file names jackass.jpg
fuck you and your silly obsession with file names jackass.jpg


Review This Item

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Reviews


Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-10-17 21:07:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-21 18:37:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


What are you, a fag?

Submitted by JonnyX at 2013-10-17 17:18:58 EDT (#)

Submitted by rob_berg at 2013-05-19 00:12:35 PDT (#)

This man is still brilliant.

I'm sad I don't get to hang out with him as much as I would like.
___
IS that because he is so rich now? I remember him bragging about that incessantly.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2013-05-19 03:12:35 EDT (#)

This man is still brilliant.

I'm sad I don't get to hang out with him as much as I would like.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-04-26 19:25:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


God bless shitfuck.

Submitted by BadASCII at 2007-03-20 22:15:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Rob Berg is a size queen.

Submitted by Stabkill at 2007-01-02 14:24:08 EST (#)
Rating: -2

We know you and shitfuck suck each others cock, so what? Are we supposed to be happy for you and shit? Fuck you, fuck canada, and fuck your whore of a mother that gave birth to you.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-11-03 14:57:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-11-03 10:51:39 (#)
Ranking: 2


I think balance is the key--for everything beautiful, say something horrible, this keeps the beautiful object as 'real' as it can be. See everything, say everything, explore.

If we measure ourselves on our opposite, then at some point we should be the opposite, just to make sure we don't ever want to be like that. Something like that anyway.

---

Balance is a wonderful thing... although appreciation of 'horrible' doesn't necessarily involve its participation.


A wonderful doctrine by which to live:


'See everything, say everything, explore.'


The tragic reality of our selfish, fearful society:


'Ignore everything, say nothing, hide.'

Submitted by shitfuck at 2006-11-03 10:51:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2


I think balance is the key--for everything beautiful, say something horrible, this keeps the beautiful object as 'real' as it can be. See everything, say everything, explore.

If we measure ourselves on our opposite, then at some point we should be the opposite, just to make sure we don't ever want to be like that. Something like that anyway.

Submitted by ASO at 2006-09-06 13:50:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

my favorite shitfuck moment: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66211#1322414

Submitted by JDL at 2006-07-24 22:25:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Approved.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 23:56:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 22:44:15 (#)
Ranking: -2

Here's a present for you. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ec0UySrXPuo

===

Not really my cup o' tea... but still fairly enjoyable. How delightfully random!

You just went up a spot.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 23:51:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 22:44:15 (#)
Ranking: -2

At least you recognize my work and will now pay me the tribute- on a daily basis - that I deserve.


===


Very well. I agree.

Today your deserved tribute is a big happy face mounted on a giant pile of poop. Well earned.


r.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-21 22:44:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

At least you recognize my work and will now pay me the tribute- on a daily basis - that I deserve.

Here's a present for you. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ec0UySrXPuo

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2006-07-21 22:23:46 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-21 22:14:01 (#)
Ranking: 2

Shitfuck is a saint in his own right
___________________________
Didn't you mean TAINT???

Submitted by Method at 2006-07-21 22:14:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shitfuck is a saint in his own right

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 21:50:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 21:34:23 (#)
Ranking: -2

"Much more than a "smidgen", Villanch."

There!

SEE? Is that so much to ask? I mean that was at least kinda funny. I had to do me a google search and EVERYthing. Look at you putting in a little effort.

While you are at it you might want to work on not being such a galactic tool... but I don't want to soil the moment too much. Keep up the good work you cranky bitch.


r.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-21 21:34:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-07-21 20:38:56 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 18:37:59 (#)
Ranking: -2

What are you, a fag?

===

hehe.

Do you actually experience even a smidgen of glee after you squeeze out these lame inane little turds of stupidity?


Much more than a "smidgen", Villanch.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2006-07-21 21:31:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

We need fewer references to geriatric posters/reviewers. Fuckin' punks. . .

Submitted by FilthyAssistant at 2006-07-21 21:29:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I like shitfuck. He's the best kind of asshole.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2006-07-21 21:17:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shitfuck is on my list of Top Five Best People Ever. He's a gentleman AND an iconoclast.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 20:38:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 18:37:59 (#)
Ranking: -2

What are you, a fag?

===

hehe.

Do you actually experience even a smidgen of glee after you squeeze out these lame inane little turds of stupidity?

On one hand I’m flattered one of the geriatric fuckers around these parts finds it somewhat amusing to waste time shitting on my posts…

...my other hand is actually quite busy at the moment. But I think the gist was that you should basically just fuck right off. (I'm sure there was some sort of delightful homo joke in there and at least some passing reference to you participating a shockingly lewd and morally questionable animal sex act. Fuck. It would have been so sweet. God damn hand.)

r.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-07-21 19:35:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 18:01:55 (#)
Ranking: 0

Yeah, shitfuck is a legend.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-21 17:59:12 (#)
Ranking: 0

"Shitfuck is a legend..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 17:57:57 (#)
Ranking: 0

do I even need to say it?

Submitted by kaos-king at 2006-07-21 18:53:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

ShitFuck ran the torture chamber for Method in the UA!!! series...

I think that was appropriate.

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2006-07-21 18:50:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Uh, yeah.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-21 18:37:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What are you, a fag?

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2006-07-21 18:29:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shitfuck is my butt buddy.

Submitted by COMountain at 2006-07-21 18:16:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-21 18:11:28 (#)
Ranking: 0

my favourite shitfuck moment
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49286#899300

--------------------------

...wait a tick... that's.... uh...

Submitted by marginwalker at 2006-07-21 18:13:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I love the guy.


Literally.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-07-21 18:11:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

my favourite shitfuck moment
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49286#899300

Submitted by rob_berg at 2006-07-21 18:10:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-07-21 18:06:22 (#)
Ranking: 1

"You're too new to tribute anything to anyone..."

Lame.


(But thanks for the links Mr. Smuggypants.)

Submitted by COMountain at 2006-07-21 18:06:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You're too new to tribute anything to anyone... I suggest you read these:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/87098 (Part I of II)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87529 (Part II of II)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86749 (Nostalgia)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85622 (Copious amounts of Coitus in Foriegn Land's Tourist Sites)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83463 (Pure Awesome +2 Overall Rating)

Submitted by scourge at 2006-07-21 18:01:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah, shitfuck is a legend.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-07-21 17:59:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"Shitfuck is a legend..."

Submitted by darko at 2006-07-21 17:57:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

do I even need to say it?

Submitted by Davros at 2006-07-21 17:56:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Shitfuck sure has his moments.

-Dave


Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined