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Hirings and Firings - The View From the Top

Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-07-24 10:10:32 EDT
Rating: 1.34 on 61 ratings (61 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Business is good.

So good, in fact, that I've had to open the doors of the moderately sized printing company I sell for and bring in temporary labor. Last year my company output a little over $4 million in commercial offset print. I've recently been fortunate enough to land a client who's given my 2 jobs totalling $800K in the last month.

We're slammed.

As it always is in this industry, getting the jobs in the door is only half the battle. Getting them out is the other half. Both jobs require an extensive amount of handwork - kitpacking, collating, shrink wrap, banding...etc.

Thus the need for the temp labor.

Word spread, and I've begun 2 shifts. As this is my job, my customer, and my comission on the line, I'm keeping a close eye on the labor I've brought in. Any slippage in their production means dollars lost from my pocket.

So for the last 3 weeks, I've been able to observe a rather elementary sample market of the American workforce. Surely, this isn't representative of everywhere - but I bet it throws a pretty close dart. Below are examples of the extremes. The best, and the worst.



-nitty

thetempstaff.jpg
thetempstaff.jpg


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Submitted by Ltap at 2008-03-12 14:33:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I see why this got showers of +2s, but not the b@w.

Submitted by Ejryuu at 2008-03-12 14:04:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's nice when you can give a +2 and not have to debate whether or not it truly deserves it <3

Submitted by sideshow at 2007-03-23 14:19:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

seems like a farily decent representation of the diverse workforce...some good, some bad, some eager, some lazy...

Submitted by ThatsGodToYouBitches at 2007-01-14 10:13:57 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Your employee "Jarrod" is actually a rapper that was on Making The Band. Maybe next time you could put in the effort to choose pictures of people that haven't been on TV.

Excuse me while I go weep for actually knowing that :*(

Submitted by ASO at 2006-10-01 04:11:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-07-28 15:58:51 (#)
Ranking: -2

Holy fuck, this made B@W?

Submitted by PenanceInACan at 2006-08-30 06:44:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

yea capitalism.

Submitted by compEngineer0 at 2006-08-09 08:33:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Not much...

Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey at 2006-08-09 07:45:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'm trying to figure out how you have these photos of them. Are they real staff photos? Did you go around asking to take their photos especially for this? I mean, if our staff 'who's who' pages had pictures of us chewing our bling or standing moodily with a skateboard wrapped about our head I might actually make the effort to have a look.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2006-08-05 20:33:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

i was waiting for the funny bit


Submitted by Hypnoholic at 2006-08-05 15:30:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hey, don't let these meat heads get you down. Not EVERYTHING has to be funny to be entertaining. I enjoyed it. Though, being that I'm in a supervisory position I can relate.

Submitted by konohasaiyajin at 2006-08-05 14:47:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

for some reason quite interesting. makes me realize how lazy i am at work.

Submitted by TheSpook at 2006-08-04 12:47:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fell asleep halfway through it again. Nearly lost my job.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2006-08-04 12:37:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

? I read it because it was on B@W, and I kept wating for the funny part.

Bart said awhile ago that he was trying to diversify the types of posts that made B@W. Maybe thats why he put his one up there.

Plus he seems to like to put "work" posts up.

What Bart needs to realize is that most of the people who check B@W are probably interested in it because they appreciate his sense of humor. If he switches it all up it might lose some appeal.

"Oh, I haven't checked www.boredatwork.com lately, it's been kinda bunk".


Submitted by ELG at 2006-08-04 00:00:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Damn, I hate you. Only one out of every twenty idiots we hire is a decent worker. I spend so much time chasing after people to get off the phone and do their work, I don't have time to do my own.

Submitted by ELG at 2006-08-03 23:58:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Damn, I hate you. Only one out of every twenty idiots we hire is a decent worker. I spend so much time chasing after people to do their work and get off the phone, I don't have time to do my own work.

Submitted by Molari at 2006-08-01 13:27:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I don't know why this was entertaining. But it was.

Submitted by precision at 2006-07-31 13:53:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

We had a temp in my office last week...she came in on monday, called in sick tuesday, and went on break wed and never came back. She called on friday to tell us that we were boring and she wouldn't be back

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2006-07-30 09:19:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If I wanted to hear stories about Human Resources - I'd go along to our department, they at least have breasts.

Submitted by LSD420 at 2006-07-29 09:45:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats on B@W, it's my dream to make it there someday...

PS- were you on E when you wrote this? It seems like every person you talk about is "the hardest worker you've ever met"...

Submitted by Davros at 2006-07-29 09:32:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I liked this, but I was surprised at the B@W.

It was good, just not the usual fare.

-Dave

Submitted by kaos-king at 2006-07-29 05:46:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats on B&W!!!

Submitted by AJ at 2006-07-28 16:20:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Will's and Maria's were the only ones I laughed at.

Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-07-28 15:58:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Holy fuck, this made B@W?

Thanks for the vote Wardy.

Submitted by retrospect at 2006-07-25 16:13:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-24 12:58:32 (#)
Ranking: 1

+1 for Li'l Wayne


thats chopper from making the band2

Submitted by Life101 at 2006-07-25 16:05:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Im sorry but this sucked

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2006-07-25 15:54:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I've hired temps who couldn't staple two pieces of paper together and stuff them in an inter-office envelope without fucking up in some impressive way.

Then again, this is California.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2006-07-25 10:14:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:21:54 (#)
Ranking: 0

Maybe you could grow some brains and learn to spell 'permanently'
------------------------------------------------

Meh...you're hot. You don't need brains.


PS...I want you. Again! ;P

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-07-25 08:25:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Great synopsis.

You know, you could hire Bart as your "social engineer."

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2006-07-24 22:12:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-24 15:53:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Gimme a break...Shlongy work for Nitty?

Are you kidding? He'll be down in HH cleaning my toilets for room, board, booze and golf in three weeks.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-07-24 15:33:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm surprised you haven't put Shlongy on the payroll as Executive Vice-President In Charge Of Vermouth Acquisition yet...

Submitted by mikethescottish at 2006-07-24 14:35:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Suprisingly excellent.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2006-07-24 14:05:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Reminds me of a job that I had a long time ago...

Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-07-24 13:21:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Maybe you could grow some brains and learn to spell 'permanently'

Submitted by TheSpook at 2006-07-24 13:15:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Maybe you could grow some balls and hire some of them permenantly.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2006-07-24 12:58:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

+1 for Li'l Wayne

Submitted by krissi at 2006-07-24 12:30:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent work, as always, nitty.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2006-07-24 12:29:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Worth reading, just.

Submitted by ghola at 2006-07-24 12:27:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-07-24 11:43:51 (#)
Ranking: 2

This kept me entertained, but I can't figure out why.

Submitted by wardy at 2006-07-24 12:21:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

LONG LIVE THE FUPA!!!

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2006-07-24 11:54:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's so much fun to pre-announce to the world someone's termination, isn't it?

You didn't hear this from me, but he's also stealing supplies.

Submitted by ubetidid at 2006-07-24 11:47:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sinna at 2006-07-24 11:43:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This kept me entertained, but I can't figure out why.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2006-07-24 11:39:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"will" made me think of warren from empire records.

Submitted by street-pirate at 2006-07-24 11:25:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have a message for Dylan; Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

That is all.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2006-07-24 11:20:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have you banged Alysia yet? I'm sure you probably already bent Samantha over the desk, ya sick fuck.

Submitted by joedaddy at 2006-07-24 11:11:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

great idea and done well

Submitted by loki at 2006-07-24 11:03:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nice

Submitted by nitty34 at 2006-07-24 10:57:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

black

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2006-07-24 10:53:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Haha - you work at Popcopy!!!!



What's Dave Chapelle REALLY like???

Submitted by Berty at 2006-07-24 10:53:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Har Har!

Hiring child labour on the sly and letting workaholics rag them selves rotton at the plant. Berty approves.

Submitted by STIXS at 2006-07-24 10:47:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I agree, get rid of the slacker, and, instead, hire Eddie's kids.

Submitted by Maddog at 2006-07-24 10:42:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I must say I always find your posts entertaining. Good stuff.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2006-07-24 10:39:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2006-07-24 10:33:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by badassmofo at 2006-07-24 10:29:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

D'you have room for one more?

More of a management type position?

Submitted by BobLobla at 2006-07-24 10:26:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As Always...

Submitted by NotSteve at 2006-07-24 10:19:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Praise Jesus I only have two employees.

Submitted by wardy at 2006-07-24 10:19:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i just submitted that shit.

Submitted by phuzzygish at 2006-07-24 10:17:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Get rid of Jarrod, and the fat white bird. The others make up for them.

Submitted by wardy at 2006-07-24 10:12:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

B@W.... and i'm not even done yet.


I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick,
twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Great