Took a Hooker on a date. Why is MY jaw is sore?Submitted by Cracked_out_cali at 2006-08-12 01:07:12 EDT
Rating: 1.66 on 27 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
I had gotten set up on this blind date with Jayna for Thursday night at 9. I showed up about 30 minutes early to have a few drinks at the bar, you know, to loosen up a bit. 9-o’clock came around, and she hadn’t shown up yet. That’s fine; still have time to knock back a couple more. She finally arrived at 9:15, and I get up to introduce myself, then lead her to our table.
She was absolutely stunning. Just a bit over 5-foot tall, long black hair, and beautiful almond shaped eyes. She was 20, but looked much younger which is always a plus, in a sick perverted way.
We sat there for a good hour and a half learning more about each other. She was a full-time student, still living at home. Undecided on a major, but wanted to either be a pediatrician, or vet. Typical, no? Since she was giving me the look that let me know I was gonna get lucky tonight, I invited her back to my house for some drinks.
While sitting in the living room talking, I mention that I was going to buy a boat off of Craigslist. She was interested in seeing it, so I went to my computer and brought it up.
“Hey, did you know that I was on Craigslist, too?”
“Oh yeah? Well, let me check it out.”
I get up and head to the kitchen to grab a couple more drinks, thinking I was gonna see some old textbooks or used clothes for sale. I come back to the computer, and what I saw shocked the Hell out of me. Well, sure enough, she was on Craigslist.
No, I mean SHE was on Craigslist.
Right there under ‘Erotic Services’. I felt my jaw drop, but made no effort to close it.
“I KNEW YOU WOULD DO THIS! I KNEW YOU WOULD JUDGE ME!”
“Whoa, hold on a second. Chill out.”
“How am I gonna ‘chill’ when you’re freaking out on me?!”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t said anything.”
You’re a freaking WHORE! What are you doing in my house? Now I’m going to have to burn that couch you were sitting on, and I LOVE that couch! Thanks a lot.
“So, you’re not upset at my lifestyle?”
Without answering her question, I lean over and read the profile. $150 for 30 minutes, and $200 for a full hour? Hell, if this is the case, I’m already $600+ in the hole, and haven’t gotten any action yet.
This was a rather awkward situation. Here I am, having a wonderful time with this cute, little thing and then finding out she is a damned prostitute. I could go two different ways with this. I can either let it slide, and tell her I have an early day tomorrow, and need my sleep. Or I could just say…
“So, do I owe you money, or is tonight on the house?”
Well, I guess that offended the Professional Penis Rider, because she stood up, walked over, and slapped the shit out of me. This wasn’t one of those little slaps that girls give when they are angry. You know, the ones where you act hurt, but you’re really trying to keep from laughing. No sir, it definitely wasn’t one of those. This bitch smacked the taste out of my mouth.
I suppose that you would have to know self-defense in her line of work.
Before I could fully come to my senses, she stormed out of the house, jumped into her car, and sped off knocking over my trashcans. I don’t know what I’m more worried about. Her coming back and fucking my car and house up, or her pimp coming along and fucking my…world…up.
Before bed that night, I had a little heart-to-heart with my penis (as I do quiet frequently). I let him know how close he was to being done for. We made a little deal. If I promised to stop masturbating on a tri-daily basis, then he would stop getting me in trouble.
My penis and I have never been good at keeping promises.
MAYBE AIDS WAS WORTH IT.jpg