My Flatmate Likes To Piss With The Door Open and Other Tales From The Chaos That Is My Mind.Submitted by Davros at 2006-08-23 11:27:56 EDT
Rating: 1.83 on 66 ratings (66 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
My flatmate likes to piss with the door open.
Really, I don’t have a problem with that. I like to do it myself. It is a secret pleasure that all men enjoy, as well we should after years of repression and being told to “Put The Seat Down!!!”.
The big difference is, that I do it when the house is EMPTY. I mean, seriously, how disturbing is it to try to type something/watch TV/Listen to music, while you have the sound of someone’s urine splashing around the bowl? Is it just me or is this totally unacceptable?
I could fill a whole post with the shit that he does which annoys me, such as refusing to wash my two mugs that sit beside the sink when he washes his stuff, despite the fact we have a dishwasher. Really, how much effort does it take to put an extra two cups in the tray?
Is anyone on Uber a twin?
If you are, did your parents make you dress the same?
I think it is kind of cute when the kids are young, but I saw a pair of kids the other day who must have been around 12/13 and were dressed identically. I can’t really comment because my only sibling is five years younger than me, so we were never that close until we both grew up, but I feel this kind of behaviour should be classified as child abuse.
To dress two children the same when they are at an age when you are trying to create an “identity” for yourself, is possibly the most heinous thing a parent can do to their children. For me, it is on a par with selling them into slavery in Thailand, either way they have no choice in the matter.
Speaking of kids, I intend to propose a law stating that all females under the age of consent, be forced to wear Muslim style robes at all times.
It has really come home to me during this school holiday period how much this affects the average man on the street. The amount of times that I have been casting an approving glance at the female form, only to have it provide evidence that it is clearly Jail-bait. It makes me feel like a dirty old man, which I readily admit to being, but only on my terms.
My Grandmother used to claim it was McDonalds, and all the hormones in the Beef that was causing kids to (physically) mature quicker. Of course we used to think, quite rightly, that she was growing senile. Now, I am either experiencing early senility or she was right all along.
When I was at school there were maybe two or three girls with boobs and a few who had something that could almost be described as close. Now they are all carrying D cups and flaunting it and, believe me, it scares the living shit out of me. Hell, they even look like they are old enough to drink and whatever else they may decide to do.
I am not a prude, I just don’t want to be “That Guy”.
I really miss Rage Against The Machine.
There are some bands that just sum up a moment in time and RATM did that for me in their early days. I am feeling the same now as I was then, but there is no one to fulfil that niche that this band did. Given the shit going on in the world, I think the time is right for a reunion. They managed to be political without being preachy, unlike U2.
How am I supposed to take Bono’s efforts to rectify anything seriously?
Sure U2 have always carried a political message in their music, and I was as big a fan as it was possible to be around the Joshua tree era. The new regime just doesn’t work for me.
So you want to eliminate third world debt?
It seems slightly hypocritical for you to move your record label to the Netherlands to avoid paying tax. Also I believe you once said “I don’t believe that rock and roll can ever change the world.” (I Believe In Love). Surely what you are trying to do goes against this whole theory?
Get back to what you do best. Make stadium rock music. There is still a market out there for it. Your only competition is the big Rap acts. Someone stand up for the guitar.
I think I want to be a wino when I (finally) grow up.
I have lived in London for almost five years and people here seem to have a totally different attitude towards their jakeys as they do anywhere else. They have hostels aplenty for them to live in. The alcoholics appear to be accepted members of the community in which they choose to imbibe their poison. Social Services (Welfare) actually give them an extra payment over Christmas and New Year if they are registered as alcoholics, as it is “A difficult time for people with that condition”.
Their only worry seems to be where their next drink is coming from.
Contrast that to me trying to make my rent/council tax/water rates/utilities despite the fact I work a full time job and I can see who has the best of the system.
In conclusion, life is, truly, a bitch.
May all your bowel movements be regular.