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You're just mad because your fantasy is shitty in the sack. Bet it burns his ass like hot fire, too.
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Love, Thy Name Is Prolapse

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 14:28:28 EST
Rating: 1.36 on 32 ratings (32 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


My dear this simply cannot be - look now upon your second, higher hole.
Bloomping and innards-free, it rests above the skin beyond your hole.

Who would have thought it would look like a swollen carrot?
So much for my idea of a thin, flapping pink, unfooted sock in your hole.

Is this my fault or did you sit on a hammer?
You should take care not to put big things in your hole.

My father once whispered me truths on his deathbed,
Saying "Son, beware the woman whose innards peek from her hole."

Pteradon and wily Allosaurus remembered, gecko girl, mermaid,
Echoing the past, this three inch vestigal tail of your hole.

Radish in an old farmer's fist, mushroom cap in the bog,
Growth in a divided country, sweet fruit from the earth's hole.

Cinnamon bun delight, colonoscopy photographs unframed,
Early stages of untitled, unfinished Swayze/Moore pottery project: this, your muddy hole.

Polaroids taped to my bedroom door (flick, see what develops)
Double negatives flipped from an inverted hole.

Amputated limb of an Ugnaut, carbonite-stilled and Jabba-bound,
Thawed and displayed proudly before the Sarlac's hungry hole.

Whosoever seeks the truth is rewarded by the light
As whoever seeks anal abominations is rewarded by your hole.

You do not like to fly. This is why I drug your bananas.
Jibberjabber whistling from the spasms of the courderoy ribbéd hole.

I am become a crane operator working the gears of war
Clutching the stickshift presented by your sexy Caterpillar hole.

The celebrant welcomes and the lights die down and I am in jeaopardy,
I know the answer and win by pressing the buzzer of your hole.

Bound without and not within - in freedom the jailer cries,
The butt rests raw, a sad badger upon the plain...denied her hole.

I wear no scrubs, no gloves, no gown, no instrument to use save one,
Would that I were he who insurance pays to stuff it all back inside your hole.



prolapse is baaaaaaad [it's better than the human pictures the image search called up, believe me].JPG
prolapse is baaaaaaad [it's better than the human pictures the image search called up, believe me].JPG


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Submitted by awesome_face at 2006-12-04 16:24:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That was the most satisfying bile I have ever tasted in my life.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-14 10:15:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-14 00:10:12 (#)
Ranking: 0

You are really fucking weird.

---

You say that now. But one day you'll see. One day you'll meet a man, and he will be handsome and smart and sweet and a good match for you. Then one night after dinner you'll both be back at his place and things'll get hot and freaky and then the old game will begin - off with the shirts, out with the lights, a tumble of hair and tangled limbs. And then, in the moonlight, you'll see it - the dude has something like seven toes on his left foot. Four are all normal, and the other three are gnarled and tiny. And you'll balk. Oh how you'll balk. But. But then...then you'll think back to all of these poems of mine and how they really speak to loving another person for who they really are. Sure they're a bit outlandish and strange, but all of that is mere camouflage. That's just to get people in the door. Really, when you get down to it, they're all about keeping an open, loving mind in the face of something outside the norm. They're about true love caring not for things like goiters or c-section scars or post-pregnancy vaginal tearing.

Or maybe you'll suffer some unfortunate sort of boating accident and your nipples will cave inside your body instead of jutting proudly outwards. And you'll feel that no man will want you. And you'll think back to all of these. And you'll smile.

I'll expect an anonymous thank you letter in about five years.



Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-11-14 05:24:42 (#)
Ranking: 2

"Amputated limb of an Ugnaut, carbonite-stilled and Jabba-bound,
Thawed and displayed proudly before the Sarlac's hungry hole."

I have no idea what this means, but it sounds fan-fucking-tastically grotesque.

---

Star Wars references. I was in a Hollywood mood, apparently, which would explain the A-Team and Ghost references as well.

Submitted by JoeyG at 2006-11-14 05:24:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Amputated limb of an Ugnaut, carbonite-stilled and Jabba-bound,
Thawed and displayed proudly before the Sarlac's hungry hole."

I have no idea what this means, but it sounds fan-fucking-tastically grotesque.

Submitted by Lisa at 2006-11-14 00:10:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You are really fucking weird.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2006-11-13 22:46:34 EST (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-13 21:12:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You'd crawl over fifty good pussies just to get to one baa baa baa baaa..

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-11-13 18:22:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

She wants ewe Baaaaaad, O-tron. Don't be all sheepish around her.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 17:51:22 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You know you love the look the sheep is giving you, MyTee.

She knows what she wants, and she wants you to give it to her.

So coy. So damned coy.

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-11-13 17:50:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

OH GOD - THAT PICTURE - MY EYES!!!

(weeps)

Submitted by Axolotl at 2006-11-13 16:52:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.goatse.cx

weep, the link is broken

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 16:47:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Oh no no no no. I'm not getting suckered into ANOTHER Dateline exclusive.

Meeting a reporter in a strange kitchen once was enough for me, thanks.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-11-13 16:43:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Well, I have to wait for my parole officer to clear me to leave the house before I can go tell them, so I guess what I'm saying is that you have to come here for a game of sock cock.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 16:40:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Who said I was talking to you, Predator?

Don't you have to go door to door today and explain your prior convictions to all your neighbors?





(Wanna get on with the tummy sticks?)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-11-13 16:34:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Quit being a nigger, O. Rome wasn't built overnight. When in Rome... I don't know if any of these quotes fit, but I guess I had Rome on my mind. Rome is burning.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 16:33:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Anyone else want to review with something I've left in another post?
Apparently it's all the rage.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-11-13 16:26:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You got something against not using your hand?

Submitted by KindaNews at 2006-11-13 15:35:52 EST (#)
Rating: -2

-4 Decent topic, unimpressive execution.

+2 no ruddy faced titwhore.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-13 15:30:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just where in the hell does Fergie get off calling herself "Fergilicious"? YOU KNOW WHERE SHE GOT THAT.

I'll fucking SUE.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-13 15:22:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

EW.

I mean auto +2 girls with problems poem.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2006-11-13 15:15:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for "bloomping" though.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2006-11-13 15:13:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2006-11-13 14:59:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Jesus Christ man...

"The butt rests raw, a sad badger upon the plain...denied her hole."

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 14:58:45 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I think it'd be wrong if it was about the sheep.

The sheep is merely a placeholder, though, signifying the pure and gentle nature of the prolapse lover's woman.

Submitted by lechuza at 2006-11-13 14:56:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

this is just wrong

Submitted by Davros at 2006-11-13 14:55:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2006-11-13 14:54:44 EST (#)
Rating: 1

i hate you...

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-11-13 14:49:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

BLAAAAARF

Submitted by kaos-king at 2006-11-13 14:49:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

nice...

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-13 14:36:09 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Yes..."jeaopardy."

Submitted by Fungah at 2006-11-13 14:33:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hahhahaha Uber's poet laureate strikes again.

ZING

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2006-11-13 14:31:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You know, my great uncle's cousin's sister has a prolapsed rectum. I can't give this anything under a +2 on principle. I hope you understand.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-11-13 14:29:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

whew, i finished eating lunch just in time!


The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes
... Wait a minute, Statue of Liberty -- that was our planet! You
maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

-- Homer Simpson
Deep Space Homer