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Rhapsody on a Zombie Night [Happy Birthday, Whore]

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 15:28:32 EST
Rating: 1.92 on 39 ratings (39 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Twelve o'clock
The undead shuffle across the street
Held in hellish human hunger
Murmuring wordless curses and chants,
Little twisted songs from their memories,
And all is clear by the moon
As below the silent, celestial lamp
She settles on pavement and iron bars
Over smoke-ribboned rooftops,
Between the pulse and through the stink
Of midnight mayhem shaking stars
Through her hair as a stone breaking water.

Half past one,
The sword-edge sputtered,
The sword-edge muttered,
The sword-edge said, "Behold the blood
Of man whose soul has turned to ash and iron
And smiles with brimstone on his breath.
See how his head is split in half
Now become a bowl for spit and chalk
For crones, see how it spills black
And broken - death to death."

The memory throws up high and dry
A world of forgotten things:
Washed out afternoons upon a breaking tide
Pictures moving on walls, illusions
Of safety in an electric world,
Dry bones cackling from sand
But assuredly expired,
Wood-carried water from a summer well,
Spiders turning strong corners into fractured harps
Music curling through the heart and bedframe.

Half past two,
The shotgun said,
"Witness the birdless sky showering the walking dead
Extending an empty hand
To bless them with stale air and rancor."
As the rotting hand of a changeless child
Clawed the eyes and mouth of an old man screaming in the street.
She could see nothing within the child's eye.
She has seen them in the streets,
Eyes queer as funhouse mirrors and
Human as afternoon tea by the garden,
The boy's face caved and regurgitated,
Eyes afire as phoenixes from the shells she gave him.

Half past three,
The blade sputtered,
The gun muttered in the dark,
The sword hummed:
"Behold what you have become,
De mortuis nil nisi bonum,
Steam rising from the young frost,
Broken teeth and halved brains on your boots.
In the moonlight you forget memory
But beams return breaking to prove you false,
Fragile as paper children in a line
Wicked as shears and fratricide,
You will abide
As serpents through a winter battery
Reptile brain, survival, mother, father, new."
The reminiscence stays
Of shaken stars and breaking waves
And unlocked doors,
Smells of juniper and jasmine calling,
And cologne from beyond a slatted door,
And distractions on telephones
And gunfire on the television.

The sword said,
"Four o'clock,
Here is the hour you'll do no more.
Safety!
A live, unbroken family
With guards and singing sirens in the night.
Rest.
Keep yourself but keep the blood on the blade,
Lay your head to sleep, dream, prepare for life."

The slow, unconscious turning of the knife.


ok so it's not what ts eliot had in mind - sue me, it's someone's birthday.JPG
ok so it's not what ts eliot had in mind - sue me, it's someone's birthday.JPG


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Reviews


Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-17 14:48:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-17 11:50:59 (#)
Ranking: 2

Whore below

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, how else am I supposed to have a good birthday?

Submitted by ahumblefool at 2006-11-17 14:44:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Whore below

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-17 11:57:53 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Whore below.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-17 11:50:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Whore below

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-17 11:45:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I had a good birthday.

Submitted by Hookhand at 2006-11-17 10:03:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Tee hee. Nice

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-17 09:51:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Walking Dead spoiler above.

Submitted by Hookhand at 2006-11-17 07:30:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is that from Walking Dead 13 you ass? I'm waiting for the trade because I like to read them all at once. Spoiler alert next time; I've seen nothing past 12.

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-11-17 06:18:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-11-17 01:47:20 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm up past my bedtime wooooooooooooo

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-17 01:47:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm up past my bedtime wooooooooooooo

I hope your night was enjoyable, Whorenansie. Well, also anyone reading I guess.

Submitted by Fungah at 2006-11-17 01:06:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Orgasmatron I must hereby confess my less than threeing of your poetry.

And my intoxication.

Submitted by kuroneko_sama at 2006-11-17 00:00:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

that pannel was in wizards top 20 best horror comic moments

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2006-11-16 21:17:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-11-16 20:26:13 (#)
Ranking: 1
+++++++++++++
Jane, you ignorant slut.

Dear Uniter:

FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS ASSWIPE!!!!!
You suck, you lie, yo feet stink, and I be shure ya don't believe in Jebus.

Piece of dog Crap..... !!!!111!!!111!!!.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2006-11-16 21:10:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-16 20:59:09 (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't know why I kept thinking of Thriller, and the zombie's arm that fell off in the video, while reading this.

I'm guessing it has to do with the words 'whore' and zombie' close together.

Either way I'm not saying happy birthday until I receive a promise for more BIB.

So you just get the 'whore' part. But I mean that in a good way. I love short. Choppy. Sentences.

And randomly ending paragraphs.

I also love incoherent thoughts.




I love lamp.
______________
Doodles. You. Love. Anything. With. A. Penis.....
Ya fuckin' donk!!!!!!!!1111!!!11?11!!!!1

Submitted by Doodles at 2006-11-16 20:59:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know why I kept thinking of Thriller, and the zombie's arm that fell off in the video, while reading this.

I'm guessing it has to do with the words 'whore' and zombie' close together.

Either way I'm not saying happy birthday until I receive a promise for more BIB.

So you just get the 'whore' part. But I mean that in a good way. I love short. Choppy. Sentences.

And randomly ending paragraphs.

I also love incoherent thoughts.




I love lamp.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2006-11-16 20:26:13 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2006-11-16 20:17:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Oh feelie me boni, sanctu sanctu sanctu...

****

A dead prostitute?

The once was a young man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
She was missing a tit
And smelled just like shit
But think of the money he saved

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 18:56:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-11-16 18:03:57 (#)
Ranking: 2

hi spidergirl!

Hey, Mikey, can you do a post about the merrie adventures of Sir Janxalot? and the Members of the Ovoid Table? just wondering, man

---

Funny you should mention that. Just the other day I was thinking about doing a bit of balladry with a knight by the name of Sir Vix.

But now...now there be knights. Plural.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-11-16 18:03:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hi spidergirl!

Hey, Mikey, can you do a post about the merrie adventures of Sir Janxalot? and the Members of the Ovoid Table? just wondering, man

Submitted by scourge at 2006-11-16 17:53:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Indeed.

A peach.

A princess among women.

She is to Uber what Zamfir is to the panflute.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 17:46:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

She's what Francois Mitterand would call "a little bit of all right."

Submitted by scourge at 2006-11-16 17:42:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

she's a magnificent piece isn't she?

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 17:40:23 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Yes we're all quite proud of this particular whore.

Submitted by scourge at 2006-11-16 17:38:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh!

that one.

i like that one.

Submitted by scourge at 2006-11-16 17:37:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i didn't read the reviews yet.

which whore's birthday is it?

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 16:46:55 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Well that's exactly my point.
It's why I would never send someone cupcake mix. What fun is it if you don't get any of the batter?


Only for the example below, substitute "hooker blood" and "intestinal gore" for "batter."

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 16:44:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I would NEVER buy anyone a dead prostitute. All the fun is in killing them yourself.

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-11-16 16:41:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Happy Birthday Anansie!

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 16:41:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Henry is late. I'm in limbo.

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 16:41:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Goddammit. Sorry.



That was so funny I forgot to rate.

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 16:40:50 EST (#)
Rating: 0

ahahahaha

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 16:36:32 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:33:18 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:23:32 (#)
Ranking: 2

you're old!

yay!

i'll mail you some cupcake mix.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*coughs*

I don't want your anthax powder.

---

'atta girl.



Who offers to send cupcake mix? Seriously.
Send cupcakes. Why make the birthday boy/girl do the work themselves? That's like buying your friend a dead prostitute. "Here you go, Jim - the rest is up to you."

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 16:33:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:23:32 (#)
Ranking: 2

you're old!

yay!

i'll mail you some cupcake mix.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*coughs*

I don't want your anthax powder.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2006-11-16 16:23:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you're old!

yay!

i'll mail you some cupcake mix.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2006-11-16 15:49:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

cool

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-11-16 15:47:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

IT'S A DEAD MAN'S PARTY
WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE?
EVERYBODY'S COMING, LEAVE YOUR BODY AT THE DOOR
LEAVE YOUR BODY AND SOUL AT THE DOOR

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2006-11-16 15:40:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This is a badass birthday take on Eliot.

Haapy Birthday, wh..

I mean K...


I mean Anansie!

Submitted by Anansie at 2006-11-16 15:35:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Eliot and The Walking Dead? Best Birthday post EVAR. Thank you.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2006-11-16 15:34:06 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Um...I, uh.................damn.

I mean "Happy birthday, Anansie."


I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

-- Homer Simpson
The Front