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The Taking of Toast and Tea....and Tampax

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 15:43:58 EST
Rating: 1.25 on 40 ratings (40 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I have a tampon ready, thick and red
And boiling water rolling in the cup,
Collected, all the life my lover bled
Will now become the meal on which I'll sup;
With crumpet, scone and muffin I will sip
The almost-birth from late November's gush,
And with a little red upon my lip
I'll savor what her uterus has flushed;
The simplest pleasure's rarest, most the time,
But lo its scarce occurrence blessed be,
And though I'd love to drink her nether's dry
I have three weeks to wait for menstrual tea.
Were I a Turk I'd read the grounds with guile,
But in clots I see my unmade child.



Tampax 'Pearl Grey' tea, coming June 2007.JPG
Tampax 'Pearl Grey' tea, coming June 2007.JPG


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Reviews


Submitted by ghola at 2007-11-09 12:19:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-01-10 19:54:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Tealightful.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-10 12:00:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-10 08:26:09 (#)
Ranking: 0

i wouldnt mind seeing something you put some genuine thought into.

---

Browse these if you like. I stuck to ones that don't involve baby-eating, vaginal blood, semen, odd women, or anything that would gum up the works.

Murder:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83408
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78095
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77503
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77889
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94591
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93910
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90952
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91330
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82475
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81549

Love:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83661
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83886
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85585
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92435
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95765
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93469
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84538
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83095

Religion:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85362
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84871
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96307
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95520
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92172
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91837
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89756
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87756
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85159
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88703

Mythology:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90679
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95197
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96794
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96591
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88873
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88576
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84830

Misc:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80708
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85905
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92404
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93677
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86220
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91575
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93008
http://www.ubersite.com/m/94916
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97026
http://www.ubersite.com/m/93297
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81299

Submitted by iddqd at 2007-01-10 08:26:09 EST (#)
Rating: 0

as for the poem - meh. the opening line is a bit shitty - 'ready' and 'red' is clunky, as is 'most the time' - a better selection in that case might have been 'oftentimes' - same syllable count, same end-line sound, but makes more sense.

i wouldnt mind seeing something you put some genuine thought into.

Submitted by iddqd at 2007-01-10 08:22:39 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me.

fucking PMSing bitches.

Submitted by cshape at 2007-01-10 07:41:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

delicious.

Submitted by DCWoody at 2007-01-10 07:18:00 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by NecroBlanca1 at 2007-01-10 00:53:33 EST (#)
Rating: -1

fucking faggot

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 22:16:46 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-09 20:24:28 (#)
Ranking: 1

Well that's ruined this cup of coffee.

---

The next time you savor that iron flavor that strong, dark coffee has, think of the alkaline taste of passed, processed she-blood upon a fine teacup's lip.

Mmmmmmmmm.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-01-09 22:08:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-09 21:45:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

...

...just...

...

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2007-01-09 20:24:28 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Well that's ruined this cup of coffee.

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2007-01-09 20:20:43 EST (#)
Rating: -2

LEVITICUS 15:

And if a woman have an issue, and the issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days; whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

And on the eighth day she shall take unto her gash all manner of living things, and insert two of all creatures, a male and a female, so that her fiery discharge may repopulate the trailer.




Submitted by Targa at 2007-01-09 20:09:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-09 16:36:21 (#)
Ranking: 2

blaaaarf

------------------------

indeed.
I can't decide if this is awesome or awful. It takes ALOT to gross me out. ALOT. This didn't gross me out.. it's more like a bad case study.

+2 cause it almost grossed me out.

Submitted by Dexter-Brown at 2007-01-09 19:46:18 EST (#)
Rating: 1

This shirt seems befitting of your style.

http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/prose/male

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-01-09 18:25:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-09 17:35:35 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-09 17:14:04 (#)
Ranking: 2

HERE IS MY REFUTATION OF THIS POST, MIKEY
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97518

=======================

Trolling for sympathy.
-----
you're quite pathetic, Bradley.

Time to put on a new tinfoil hat!

Submitted by Spam at 2007-01-09 18:24:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"The almost-birth from late November's gush, "


Fucking geniius.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2007-01-09 17:35:35 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-09 17:14:04 (#)
Ranking: 2

HERE IS MY REFUTATION OF THIS POST, MIKEY
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97518

=======================

Trolling for sympathy.

Submitted by sweetcheebs at 2007-01-09 17:31:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

how very creative

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2007-01-09 17:23:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It's been a few weeks since I've been on Uber and I clicked on here. Think I'll be leaving again.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 17:16:51 EST (#)
Rating: 0

The only masculine amazon worth doing - or who was worth doing, I guess - was Chyna, Jonny.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-01-09 17:14:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HERE IS MY REFUTATION OF THIS POST, MIKEY
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97518

Submitted by goferforhire at 2007-01-09 17:12:56 EST (#)
Rating: 1

True to life

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 16:48:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Loves t'blow below.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-09 16:46:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Pun below.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 16:44:51 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah, I cycle back to it every now and again.

Submitted by Susie_Derkins at 2007-01-09 16:43:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Agreed with the good Captain: BLARRFFFF. Back on our blood theme, are we?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-01-09 16:36:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

blaaaarf

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-01-09 16:34:24 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I wrote one in a similar vein (ha) a while ago called "Interview With The Tampire". It wasn't as good as this, though. If this was good.

Submitted by scourge at 2007-01-09 16:31:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

this is my favorite drink

i need a drink

i have not had a beer in six days

Submitted by Snark at 2007-01-09 16:14:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I dry retched allot.

Submitted by Circe at 2007-01-09 16:06:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I dry-retched a little.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-09 16:02:30 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I HAD YOU AT "RIBALD" HONKEY

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2007-01-09 15:53:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You had me at "almost-birth".

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-01-09 15:52:18 EST (#)
Rating: -1

meh

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-09 15:49:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Do you find sinus mucuous to be as sensuous of a bodily fluid? Because I'm a goldmine over here.

Submitted by Amontillado at 2007-01-09 15:47:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Glad I wasn't eating.

Submitted by congo at 2007-01-09 15:46:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

auto-Iambic-pentameter +2

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-01-09 15:46:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Jesus, why do I ever click on your posts when I'm tryin to eat lunch?

Submitted by homer42 at 2007-01-09 15:45:29 EST (#)
Rating: -2


This is even more painful than it looks.

-- Homer Simpson
Brother from the Same Planet