login / register
Jeanneee is fucking sqeezeably soft.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Siamese Dream

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 14:21:59 EST
Rating: 1.47 on 43 ratings (43 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


That one should prove enough for love's demands
And history insists that hearts should twin,
AS each should heart to heart and hand to hand
Forsake those all without for that within,
By civ'lized standards or by divine plan
We mate as two, and one from two begin
To live our lives as half a forméd self -
A twinning that can ne'er undo itself.

And yet...I feel a stirring in my soul
An incompleteness in my coupling ways,
Feeling empty, never fully whole,
No peace I find when closing down the day;
Imprisoned by this life I seek parole
Yet with my freedom I will surely stray
From these old rules accepted by the states
Who'd rather see two people out on dates.

No longer will I play the social game
Too long insisted on by ruling classes
Of closeting my love, of silent shame,
I have two hands - I need two supple asses!
Two matches lit will burn one constant flame
But three will burn as well to sexy ashes
And in the end, we're all but soot and dust
So why should I contain my dual-eyed lust?

But lo, how could a man begin to work
With different women, each with varied needs?
To play one off the other's just berserk
Like trying to use your asshole to smoke weed,
A man who 'ttempts to cheat them is a jerk
Unless your Mormon, then you could succeed,
But Mormons suck the root, so fuck that noise
And tricking two chicks will not bring you joy.

And were a man to find a woman true
And ask an open mind of her one day,
If she declines she'll think him greedy jew.
But if she's game he risks her turning gay,
These treach'rous waters will sink your canoe
Then up the creek with stick'd-ass you'll away,
Returning to the land of Singles Nation
With Ramen, TAG, and loads of masturbation.

I have found a means to my good end
And ending all the worries of my heart,
So pay attention all you mindful men
For there are women who will never part,
Who'll both stay true through thick and thickest thin
Who'll disregard it when your rhyme scheme breaks
And love you with their Doubleminty grins,
I've fumbled long with love - no more mistakes!
My lovesauce now will frost two fem'nine cakes!

In truth you'll find them every hundred thou
Despite statistics telling you a lie:
For double that's the figure stats avow
But half are stillborn - what a way to die;
They're all the pleasure heaven will allow
A double slice of slutty poontang pie,
This rare delight you'll find most anywhere
They'll treat you right if you try not to stare.

By luck and fortune they are both divine
A mirror to the other's waking dream
You're guaranteed at least some lips and eyes,
Four tits perhaps, three arms, a sharéd spleen,
Variety does set this heart of mine
To beating, a king with coupled queens
You will become when crowning with your seed
These women who from fate cannot be freed.

And if they're fused upon the brow, fear not
For though they may be wobbly, odd and angled
They still have fair wageens and tight butt knots
That long to taste the drip-drip from your dangle;
Just buy them shades and baseball hats a lot
Or lucha masks if them you can a-wrangle,
They say two minds trump one but that's not true
They share it, man, they're not as smart as you.

But if you long for partners and not slaves
Then maybe front-joined women are your choice,
They're guaranteed to not talk down the day,
I'm sure they tire of the other's voice;
No titfucking's a hefty price to pay
But in this fact your he-heart will rejoice:
They're face to face all day, they're sure to kiss
And blow your mind with incest-lesbo bliss.

Now side-stitched ladies are my favorite kind
I will attest, they steal my heart with ease,
A shared digestive system suits me fine
So long as they can both get on their knees,
Just think - four holes to work with from behind
No greater gift e'er given could quite please
Than double shockers moving in the night:
So small when born, when older they're still tight.

They're grateful for attention, they'll not look
To find another lover once you've screwed,
Like sticky pages in a porno book
They come together, packaged one in two,
Your kitchen must permit three loving cooks
But think about your Meat in their Au Jus
And of the Pussy Pancakes on the side
And of the Fuck Omelette de Astroglide.

So men if you're inclined, seek not the dance
That moves to steady beat played by the normals,
Instead liberate the god inside your pants
And invite two glued chicks to life's grand formal,
You'll save some money - they need but one rose
And heart to heart to heart you'll move in time
Then later in the night, you'll janx their toes,
Collapsing in their shared arm...satisfied.




hot hot.......................get it.JPG
hot hot.......................get it.JPG


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by ghola at 2007-11-09 12:18:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-31 09:51:59 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 23:28:44 (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-30 21:47:08 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned

---

Why's that? Is your twin upset?


argh why does everyone keep saying random crap i dont understand.... what twin?!?

---

I was just curious if you had a conjoined twin or something, and took offense to this because of that. Maybe you dated a set and it didn't go so well? Did you get them drunk first? It's easier with the ones that share a liver.

Ban me because I'm beautiful, but not because you're upset about something you read.
You should know what you might be getting into when you see this name.

Submitted by JoeyG at 2007-01-31 03:43:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Like trying to use your asshole to smoke weed"

+2 for that line alone...

Submitted by emmakwon at 2007-01-30 23:28:44 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-30 21:47:08 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned

---

Why's that? Is your twin upset?


argh why does everyone keep saying random crap i dont understand.... what twin?!?

i officially quit uber again. not that anyone cares.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2007-01-30 23:15:23 EST (#)
Rating: 1

...

Nigga please?

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 22:54:39 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Jigga who?

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2007-01-30 22:46:06 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You what?

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 22:27:59 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Linkwhore below the debtor's island inhabitant below.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2007-01-30 22:17:55 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-30 22:16:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 21:47:08 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned

---

Why's that? Is your twin upset?

Submitted by kaos-king at 2007-01-30 21:09:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Falafel at 2007-01-30 20:44:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:33:29 (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned
=======================================

You should be sentenced to death by emu-rape.
I logged in just to counterbalance this horseshit.. carry on.


wont even come close to counterbalancing retard. learn to math plez you fucking retarded orgasm alter
=======================================

Ha.. I'll learn to math if you learn to Engrish.

Submitted by emmakwon at 2007-01-30 20:33:29 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned
=======================================

You should be sentenced to death by emu-rape.
I logged in just to counterbalance this horseshit.. carry on.


wont even come close to counterbalancing retard. learn to math plez you fucking retarded orgasm alter

Submitted by Falafel at 2007-01-30 20:28:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

you need to be banned
=======================================

You should be sentenced to death by emu-rape.
I logged in just to counterbalance this horseshit.. carry on.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-01-30 20:24:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2


In what? All of it's infinite sadness?

Submitted by thorpe at 2007-01-30 20:22:47 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-30 19:58:39 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-01-30 16:46:23 (#)
Ranking: 2

What's a boy suppossed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you.

---

^
|
|

One of the best CDs of all time.
--------------------

Mellon Collie shits all over it.

Submitted by emmakwon at 2007-01-30 20:07:34 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you need to be banned

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-01-30 19:58:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-01-30 16:46:23 (#)
Ranking: 2

What's a boy suppossed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you.

---

^
|
|

One of the best CDs of all time.

Submitted by Dolson at 2007-01-30 16:46:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

What's a boy suppossed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 16:11:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Yes I'm saying exactly that, you anal-minded codger.

I heard they want Hansen and/or Delcarmen and/or Clement in addition to Lowell and Tavares.
Nice of everyone to piss off the players by naming names like that.


I hope Clement gets hit by another line drive this year. That kitchen-sponge-chinned fop.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-01-30 16:04:22 EST (#)
Rating: -1

He ain't goin' anywhere...certainly not for Mike Lowell and Julian Tavares, he's not, anyway.

Are you insinuating that you want to stick it in Helton's butt?

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 15:53:29 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Thanks for thinking of me.

If the Todd Helton talks resume, could you do it then? I really don't want to sit through more discussions about another expensive player coming to Boston in the spring.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-01-30 15:50:35 EST (#)
Rating: -1

I'll hold onto that -2 for when the time is right...perhaps, right before your next, or should I say, first date. With a chick. A living one.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 15:46:58 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:42:52 (#)
Ranking: -1

That was only a -1 and look how assed up you get.

What would have happened if I dropped a -2 on you...hold your breath until you turn purple? Pee your pants? Masturbate furiously?

---

Oh please, you've done worse before. I've just been hashing shit your way lately so I'm inclined to continue.

I'll leave the pants-peeing to you and your adult diapers. It suits you to be damp with your own waste, I think. Rather rancid, as it were.

However another -2 from you will only serve to bring me one step closer to taking my own life.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-01-30 15:42:52 EST (#)
Rating: -1

That was only a -1 and look how assed up you get.

What would have happened if I dropped a -2 on you...hold your breath until you turn purple? Pee your pants? Masturbate furiously?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-01-30 15:28:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Funny, I had Ramen for lunch today.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 15:27:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:25:30 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm not a hater. I'm a girl with problems.

---

Fine, fine. "Handicapable Castaneters?" "Castinetable women?"

Or are there other problems?

Submitted by hot_pocket at 2007-01-30 15:25:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 girl on girl action

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-30 15:25:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm not a hater. I'm a girl with problems.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 15:22:17 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:17:55 (#)
Ranking: 2

Auto +2 girl/girls with problems.

---

Please. They're not problems at all.

As the label suggests, they're "handicapable women."



Hater.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2007-01-30 15:18:49 EST (#)
Rating: 1

This isn't your most award winning material.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-30 15:17:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Auto +2 girl/girls with problems.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-01-30 15:08:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

~~~we are siamese if you please
we are siamese if you don't please~~~

Submitted by Thumbalina at 2007-01-30 15:05:32 EST (#)
Rating: -1

Ehh.....ok but not ok

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-01-30 15:02:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Probably, you bean-nosed bedpan of a man. Probably.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-01-30 14:57:42 EST (#)
Rating: -1

I don't get it.

Probably because I didn't read it.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-01-30 14:48:47 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by MichaelJackson at 2007-01-30 14:44:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for the plagiarized title alone!

Submitted by Fartman at 2007-01-30 14:36:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

But think about your Meat in their Au Jus
And of the Pussy Pancakes on the side
And of the Fuck Omelette de Astroglide.

Time for lunch.

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2007-01-30 14:33:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Nice.

And here's another take on that title...

http://www.ubersite.com/m/65101


Submitted by DirtyHarry at 2007-01-30 14:31:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"I have two hands - I need two supple asses!"

Hot damn! Amen to that.
My favorite line:

"My lovesauce now will frost two fem'nine cakes!"

Submitted by homer42 at 2007-01-30 14:24:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm just not a fan of poetry ever* but since I like the rest of your writing I'm guessing if I were a guy that liked poetry I would like this.

*Except for Edgar Allen Poe.


Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!

-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma