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My Playground...It's Freezing Here but at Least the Beer Stays Cold

Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-30 20:33:26 EST
Rating: 1.85 on 28 ratings (28 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I’m goddamn cold. January is synonymous with cold feet, drippy noses (when the mucous hasn’t actually taken it upon itself to freeze in up there), blue fingers, and frozen hair (make sure you’re wearing your toque if you go out after a shower). It’s at this time of year, when it gets dark at 3:30, when I have to warm my car up for 10 minutes every morning, when I have to scrape copious amounts of frost off of my window with my petro-points card because I can’t be fucked to look for my scraper…that I force myself to think of the reasons I love it here.

I can go tobogganing. It’s fucking fantastic and I don’t care how old you are…you should never outgrow this. There is nothing like trudging up the side of a mountain with your friends, smoking a joint, and then barreling down it on a small, plastic, non-steerable disk. If you get too close to the edge, where it drops down into a massive fucking canyon, you make fucking sure that you roll off before hand. It just makes sense.

I can build snow-forts and ice-bars. Again…fun no matter how old you are. Having an ice bar at a party is fucking cool. And snow forts? Please. NOTHING, is cooler than a snow fort.

I can ski and board, and drink beer outside...leisurely...without having to worry about it getting warm. I work at a resort when I’m not slaving in my 6 courses or at practicum, so it’s perfect. There is nothing like making first tracks in fresh powder. It. Is. Spectacular.

While I personally don't subscribe to this, swimming is still an option. This is usually something drunk men who are inevitably called Chad do after being built up by their friends.

"Yeah, go for it Chad...you're so fucking cool man...you've got some balls on you man....sweet".
"Yeah dudes, I so rock...check me out".
*splash*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEIIIIIII"

Chad's balls? They crawled all the way up through Chad's abdomen and into his throat. That water will kill your ass if you're in it for more than a couple of minutes. Have fun with that assholes, I'm sitting out.

Despite preferring to do this in summer, I can hike. It’s sort of like hiking in sand, except the sand is cold, and white, and snow. It was a beautiful day here today. I grabbed the dogs…well, borrowed, Poppy and Chemo…DON’T LOOK AT ME I CERTAINLY DIDN’T NAME THEM…and took them out for a walk on the lake. I only had to wrestle two rotting fish out of their mouths, and luckily nothing dead made it into my car.… unlike last time. They find the craziest stuff…

“Hey Athena, just dropping off the dogs”.
“What’s that smell?”
“Um…I dunno what you're talking aboot...I have to go, I'll talk to you la..”
“DUCKY WHY IS THERE A SHEEP LEG IN THE FOYER???”
*slam*

...ah, the lake...


lets go swimming.jpg
lets go swimming.jpg


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Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-02-02 08:51:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i love winter

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-01-31 16:54:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

rate my post, you fag http://www.ubersite.com/m/98265

Submitted by marginwalker at 2007-01-31 14:15:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Last time I tobogganed I almost shit myself. It's amazing how fearless we are as children

Submitted by Susie_Derkins at 2007-01-31 13:35:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yes, the beer stays cold, but sometimes too cold. I've had beer turn into a slowly expanding slushy outside. You have to uncap it and chug fast if you want anything resembling beer to drink.

Winter sucks ass. But +2 for being a hardy Canuck.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2007-01-31 10:07:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for having a dog named Chemo

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-01-31 09:47:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Wooooooo Duck! (Shamelessly retaliatory.)

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-01-31 05:56:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

THERE IS NO PUSSY IN DUCKYS RESORT SEXUALCHOCOLATE DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO IT'S NOT LIKE SHE DOESN'T JUST WORK THERE AND JUST LOOK AT REPORTS ALL NIGHT BLOODY HELL SHE DOESN'T JUST HAVE BIG FUCKING GANGBANGS WITH THE BELLHOPS

JESUS


you don't, right duck?

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2007-01-31 05:38:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sounds awesome!

Is it true about working at a resort?....

Do you all do dance in a dirty mannor in the staffs quarters?



























Seriously though, lots of Pussy right?

Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-31 04:16:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiit...you're british aren't you...well see? that explains it.

Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-31 04:11:55 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Good grief. Do you live in Compton or Detroit?

Submitted by JoeyG at 2007-01-31 04:01:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I wish I lived somewhere cool.

Where I live 'fun' is defined as 'making it home without being mugged/raped/murdered/all of the above', and if the brake cables haven't been cut on your car, then you consider yourself a lucky man indeed.

Happy days......

Submitted by MichaelJackson at 2007-01-31 01:27:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And I spelt immortal wrong on purpose

Submitted by MichaelJackson at 2007-01-31 01:26:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh dear...

In the words of the imortal Lance Bass: "The beginning of the shows are different. One time we'll say 'Hello, Denver'. Another time we'll say 'Hello, Memphis'. It's always different."

Submitted by apollo88 at 2007-01-31 00:56:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome


Submitted by Falafel at 2007-01-30 23:37:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Beautiful pic.. looks kinda like Frobisher Bay (Iqaluit)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-01-30 23:36:56 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I miss the cold weather.


















...as I float in my pool.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-01-30 23:16:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It just makes sense.

We haven't even seen a decent snowfall yet, but even so, summertime can fuck right off.

Submitted by sweetcheebs at 2007-01-30 22:59:39 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I want to go there, and work at a resort.

Submitted by DirtyHarry at 2007-01-30 22:14:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"There is nothing like making first tracks in fresh powder. It. Is. Spectacular."

hell yeah, been there.

Submitted by Bohme at 2007-01-30 22:05:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Winter kicks ass.

Submitted by Amontillado at 2007-01-30 21:49:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm too lazy to drive to a nearby lake.

Submitted by bob at 2007-01-30 21:44:53 EST (#)
Rating: 1

its fucking freezing here too...I almost didnt go to classes today (which are located maybe 3 minutes from my dorm), because its was SO FUCKING COLD.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-01-30 21:14:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

WELL I DON'T CARE AND WHO THE FUCK IS CHAD ANYWAY

Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-30 21:06:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm not touching that D_R...it would be too easy.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-01-30 21:01:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

erm, Ducky? This is a serious writers forum. try boringoldblog.com.

Submitted by Ducky at 2007-01-30 20:51:35 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Fuck fuck fuck fuck...a-bout...not aboot. I didn't even do that on purpose. What an idiot.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-01-30 20:38:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dammnit woman! I'm at work and after being here 5 hours, I FINALLY am getting warm. This gave me a chill.

It's going to get down to -11.67C tonight. Not counting windchill.


I'm bloody well freezing!

Submitted by Blinkish at 2007-01-30 20:37:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

eww i can relate tot he dog thing, mine finds some fucked up shit
she brought me a dead duck once .. i'm pretty sure she killed it too

pretty picture


This is even more painful than it looks.

-- Homer Simpson
Brother from the Same Planet